My friend has a depression - what do I do?

It so difficult to advise others because everyone's depression is different. The reasons for it, the illness itself and how to manage it. I personally would be very careful at making statements and being judgemental about someone's condition, only because it varies so much from person to person. I am writing this as a sufferer myself. Real and meaningful understanding and communication with a a person is what is required, love also plays a big part. How to achieve this, i have could not advise. At least I could not advise as a single rule in ever case. 

I agree with aatish, we are all individuals so what may be right for you may not be right for others. I was diagnosed with anxiety depression following my marriage of 30 years ending due to my ex committing adultery. We were "soulmates" and so the aftermath was horrendous. He had and still has mental health issues for which we as a family supported him. He was diagnosed as being "delusional and psychotic".

Depression is such a dark, lonely very frightening place to be with no hope of anything ever getting better when you are in the midst of it. I would tell concerned family/friends that " I was fine and didn't need help". The turning point for me was when I had thoughts of how easy it would be to walk out in to traffic. I knew then that I needed help.

Although the medication didn't take away my problems, they helped ease my frantic mind enabling me to focus on my issues. Please don't try to talk your boyfriend out of taking them.

My advice for you is to be there for him. Don't expect a quick solution , take a little by little, day by day approach. 

Some days you just want to lock yourself away from everyone , you don't think logically when you are ill. There will be times when he will feel ok but depression/low mood/emotional can rear its ugly head without warning.

Please tell him to be gentle on himself and don't be over critical or over analyze things.

Let him talk , he may find it hard opening up regarding such deep inner thoughts but reassure him that what he is feeling is "normal" for those suffering with depression. If need be and if he is willing, suggest he joins this group. He can always message me as I do understand what he will be experiencing.

Please reassure him that he can get to where he needs to be health wise. He may not be able to see any light at the end of the tunnel now but there really is and he can get through it .

You need to let him go at his pace ,but try to encourage him to make small steps to help himself. It is a positive that he is accepting help .

Make sure that you look after yourself though. He is lucky that he has a loving, caring girlfriend and when he is well he will truly appreciate your support. You do find out who your real friends are.

Talking will get him through this horrible time in his life. Never judge what he tells you . A lot of patience from you will be required.

He may find it hard to concentrate , although the TV would be on, I couldn't concentrate . I had no interest , I would try and read a book, something that I loved but I couldn't remember what I had read.

Thankfully, I now enjoy reading and can concentrate. 

Always here to chat.

Big hugs

Julie x

It sounds trite but being there and liatening is the best thing you can do to help. For me, just knowing there was another physical presence in the room brought comfort as did knowing someone was truly listening to me.