My friend has a depression - what do I do?

I think the best thing is to try your hardest to make her feel "normal". being too nice to her may make her feel a little inferior. she also needs to know that depression is a very common problem. the more she realises that all her friends, family are not all the 100% perfect people she perceive them as, and that we all have our own little issues, that in itself will be a huge weight off her shoulders

Hi womble85,

Thank you so much for your advice. You are totally spot on- she has some serious issues feeling that her friends are perfect and that she is a zero. I know that she talked to her psychologist about that too (past tense since she doesn't go to a psychologist anymore unfortunately..). I hope time will show her that no one is perfect. We are all being very open with her, showing her our flaws and mistakes, but at this point I think that her self-esteem is so low that no matter how much we screw things up, she still feels inferior. But you are right, I could be better at treating her more "normally". Thank you once again x

Wow! There seems to be some monumental conclusion jumping going on here.
How about rewinding a little to.... just talking to your friend. Don't judge them. Try hard to be a good listener. Some days will be better than others. Some days she wont feel like or want to talk. Thats the way 'depression' goes.
When they are in a better mood, try to suggest doing easy, nice activities she likes to do. Or a drive somewhere. A place she likes to visit.
Ask her about herself, her family. Don't think you can 'wave a wand', or be 'too nice' and that's it, Depression sorted. Depression is rooted deep. It can be cured, so hang in there with her. 

I am so fucking depressed I want to cry..I don't want to speak to any1 as I know that tommorow I'll be OK..I am now shedding tears..I've heard all this bollox about people with good hearts and caring nature but I've met very few who actually give a shit about others when it comes down to it..my problem is i would rather you be happy than me..I done 16 sessions of counseling and still here I am..don't reply coz I don't care anymore this is something I need to get off my chest...fuck the selfish cunts in this world

im on the verge of a collapse in my depression, i feel so crap, im not interested in anything, life sucks, and my relationship with my husband is down to nothing....simply because he is clinically depressed also, but way worse than me, infact mine started back up from having to live with his depressive ways, he doesnt fuction, he doesnt help in the house, he has stopped working(he is self employed), he has no emotion, he doesnt talk, he literally plays his consoles and sleeps, that is it! he is up all night till 6am and then sleeps till teatime 5-6pm, and this is repeated daily.... i dont know what to do,i work partr time, im getting to the point where i cant be bothered with life, and i cant allow this any longer because i have a 13 year old daughter who has ocd/tourettes and she suffers with worrying ect..., i dont know what to do or where to begin changing things:( life at the moment is broken.............

@louise40 I hope things get better for you very soon ... It sounds like you are having a terrible time . The trouble is , what you allow , will continue . Depressed or not your husband should be contributing to your relationship . If I were you I would direct all of my love towards my daughter . You should give your husband an ultimatum . If he doesn't care about how his behaviour is affecting you , you must give him his marching orders . It is never going to be easy what ever you do , but doing nothing will achieve nothing . You must make changes that result in a beneficial outcome , however painful those changes might be . I got custody of my two daughters when they were 2 and 4 years old . I know how painful that decision can be . Now my daughters are 23 and 25 . My girls could not possibly have turned out any better . They are both hard working , kind and caring . They have given me a lot of support when I have been very unwell . What ever happens you have to keep on believing that the future is going to be so much better than the past . I really believe this . Pain only makes us stronger and experiences make us wiser . I really hope this helps . My sincere best wishes :-)

Daren x 

thank you, i do agree with u entirely, its just hard doing it, but i have to decide because it isnt no life, and i want a good life:) i want to look forward to things, outings, holidays ect...., u are a very good person to take on the full responsibility of both your girls, it cant have been easy, but u achieved it and u should be so proud of yourself, for creating and bringing up 2 great daughters :) u are always stronger than u think, and we should all look inside ourselves because we can get through things, we just have to keep fighting, i appreciate your advice and i am giving the situation great thought, thank u it does help :)

Hi @louise40 , You are very welcome and thank you for your kind words . I had lots of help from my parents . I will always make sure I pass on the love and help I had from my parents to my two daughters . I will always be there for them :) Have a nice weekend :)

Daren :)

Ok my words of advice, come from actually supported 2 of my best friends though depression and speaking as someone who has it bad now.

Firstly listen, dont say anything no advice just listen. Sometimes you dont want to talk about anything, just sitting with your mate can help, listen to music do something you both enjoy, colour, paint anything, people watch lol (not in a weird way :P ) 

Then wait till  wants to talk and dont comment just listen just nod your head and go yeah etc no other comments are needed.

Then if want advice, then give it but be careful what you say. Never judge anyone, they are sad and normally anger and just sad and feel hopeless about everything.

Finally just remind your mate they are not alone , feels that way but remind them they are cared about.

Hope that helped :D 

My boyfriend has depression he told me 2 nights ago that he's been diganosed with depression on the same night he told me that a week before he attempted suicide a week before. I was in shock he has never been like that. He says that he's been having these thoughts and he thought they wear normal and would go away but that all started 5/6months ago.

He has medication which I'm fine with but I've been brought up on homeopathic remedies and find that there better and will help him. I know what he needs and what he's taking and the side effects are not even a fraction smaller but he won't listen to me only what the doctor says but I just don't know if I'm making it worst for him. 

I'm constantly trying to find a way to keep him busy and entertained so he can think about other things so he's distracted, but he knows I have home issues and I will tell him but I don't want to now...

For the pass 2 nights/days at some point I have cried because I don't want to go to his and find he's not there. 

I just want to help him but I don't know how because this isn't him. When we go out he's fine but he puts on a show for his mates but thats how he really is. 

Any help would be appreciated thanks I dont know where to began....