How to deal with non understanding family and friends

I agree, dont help in a way, but i still have a few good friends :) 

You can only do what is right for you at any chosen moment in time. Don't waste time "owning" some ones opinions of you or their ignorance.

We are all individuals but we have the same issues whether it be low esteem, anxiety, self harming etc. We all cope in different ways and who are we to judge others?

Try not to let other peoples judgement take you down.  

Tell yourself as often as possible that you can and will do it [get better, do something different /positive]. You do find out who your real friends are.

Much love. xx

I would not count on my family's understanding. From my experience the only thing they want from you is "Everything's fine. I'm all right" type phrase. I can't see a point of talking to them. All they have is a complete lack of understanding and bunch of useless advices.

It is horrible when the very people that you would expect to be of support for you aren't. The phrase "Blood is thicker than isn't always true'; sadly.

I  "suppose" that if you give them the answer that they are wanting  ["I am fine"] then they have done their bit in supporting you in their eyes. It makes the "Well I am supporting him ; i always ask how he is" acceptable.

I can only presume that you comply as that is what they are expecting?

My new partner was saying that to community psychiatric nurse when they would phone.Time and time again I would tell him to be truthful. I have even sat with him with them and he has said it. On me asking him to be truthful  to them he would then say he wasn't coping and break down . He would then tell himself that " He was fine as he is strong". To me it takes a stronger man to admit that he is struggling . He is now in hospital for the 2nd time in 5 weeks.

At the start of my depression , I wouldn't admit to not coping as I truly thought that I was. I was the one continually doing for others, listening to their problems . It came to a point when  I realized that I  wasn't coping. My days were rolling in to one of; being afraid of going to bed as that was when my mind really came in to its own. The constant whirring in my head of what was going on in my life wouldn't stop and so i would be walking my dog at silly o clock. I would then go to work, come home and go to bed and hide from life. The turning point came when i started thinking how easy it would be to walk out in front of a car; that thought  really frightened me.

My GP was great and along with medication; which I still take , i also started helping myself. It was such a desperately hard ,dark time for me but I did it. Communication was invaluable. I declined the offer of counselling as I did have a great network of friends/family.

Take Care Igor. I do hope that you will use this group to help to get you through this bumpy journey called "life" xx

You are right itgetsbetter, it is so hard when family don"t support you & I have found that a tough lesson to lern IT has hurt like hell as well, as I have always been there for them during their tough times! I wouldn"t change that,I couldn"t just stand by when they needed me, I have lernt to toughen up & stop running round after them & stop making their problems mine! You have to stop saying you are ok, when clearly you aren"t, my mum is always telling me to tell the drs everything,She has been great & I wouldn"t be hear without her,we support her, I dread the day she"s isn"t! I don"t focus on that. I know I have her support,but other family members are so horrid to me & make me feel bad for not working, I have so many health problems I Can"t,I would love to! I always worked & suggled though,just couldn"t do it anymore! Anyway drs Have demmed I can"t work, so who are they to say I can! My sisters are always calling me lazy, I look after our mum, even though I have my own issues! They do nothing to help! When mum is really poorly of course it"s my fualt! as I haven"t looked after her propley! They don"t have a clue about looking after someone, only people they care about seems to be themselfs! They are even horrid to my mum at times! I hate this as our mum is lovely & I couldn"t ask for a better one, she has always been there for all of us, mostly on her own after dad died, I don"t know how she has done it,having 4 of us! you have to lernt to toughen up, & that is hard & has taken me years! Igor just try & find people who do care about you, focus on them,if you can trust them bin them off,so to speak, I have lernt to cut myself off emointly form most of my family, God it"s hard!

Anyway you have us on this group to talk to, we all support each other.I hope I have helped

The words of Groovychick are so true to my situation, I have after 18 months of locking myself away been able to reach out to a group local to me, meet like minded people who are going through it, who are not judgmental. I have made friends with people who understand. My old friends stay well clear of me, this some days makes me feel as if they are labeling me, it may just be in my head as my family are quick to say, but when voices are telling you that they hate you for being weak, it really doesn't help.

Life with our illnesses is a battle, but sites like this help you see you are not alone, and if we keep getting up every day we are winning the battle. 

Best wishes to everyone

So proud of people for even talking about this topic, not many like to talk about anything this important 

The biggest lesson we can do is to talk about what is going on instead of saying "I am fine thanks". Is to actually say " I am having a bad day".

Why do we always say that? Mental illness is so stigmatized and it shouldn't be. You wouldn't wash over it if it was cancer or heart trouble etc . 

If people are really interested in you , then the conversation will continue. I think that as soon as the word "Mental "is used people think that you are some sort of mass murderer. It is ignorance;pure ignorance.

Hopefully, the more that speak out against this dreadful illness the more acceptable it will become.

To me ,it takes a stronger person to say " I am not well and need help" . Speaking out is not a sign of weakness it is a strength in not only admitting it to yourself but also accepting it.

Hope that everyone is having  a great Sunday. x

I have suffered from manic depression and anxiety since I was a teenager.  Now I add paranoia to all this, plus hypothyroidism!  It is a miracle I am still alive, although I'm not kicking!  Life is dead to me, people are dead to me.  I am empty inside through years of being criticised and knocked-down because of being so apparently capable and "talented" in various ways, and possessing a good brain. Jealousy and resentment from friends and acquaintances have lived alongside me most of my life.  Even my best friend of 60 years told me recently that she humiliated me and put me down in company because she was jealous of my all round abilities at school, and for being popular! And that is the story of my life, so I no longer feel anything for anybody because everyone and everything hurts so much.  No-one understands, no-one.  I truly despair. Every day, every hour, every second is a struggle.  

No real DEFINTIVE advice on how to actually deal with here it seems. Everyone talks about how it is for them, and it's GREAT to share (!!!), but what to acutally DO ? I'm currently splitting up with my wife and leaving my two daughters with her because of it.