How to maintain the mask...

Hello Mate !

I think that it part of being human to have a ' mask ' . Part of being concious , there's our inner world , how we feel , and the outer world , how we act . If not , we would be little more than animals , like a lot of people in fact .

Recently I read  ' Conciousness and the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind '  by Julian Jaynes . You may find it enlightening  ( and it's free on pdf  ) . If so inclined  , give it a bash  . If you manage to get through it ,  give us some feedback , I found it kind of gentle , and also moving .

ian59

Hello and thanks

I will look that book up and give it a whirl...

Mark

My mask has slipped so many times this past few months but I just carry on the best I can . 

Good evening to you all , I hope the nice weather has lifted your spirits :-)

I wear many masks, parent, employee,friend and me, very hard sometimes to wear the me one.

At  the age of 53 when I came out from behind my I am a strong black woman mask, and decided it was time to tell all, no one believed me :(

Most of the time my mask is still firmly in place. However, it does slip on occasions but then, I feel like I'm moaning to my friends.

I need to design myself a new mask - for ten years I have worn the mask of a capable, cope with anything life throws, organized, supportive woman.  My heart problems in June meant I had to wind up my business and consider myself 'retired', 7 months before planned.  I didn't realise how this much this would throw me - I need to adopt the mask of housewife, carer and incorporate personal disability in there somewhere - so far, I am a bit lost with it all..........................

That's it ..I too am wearing a mask and the me one only comes on when I am on my own in bed...lost my dad 2years ago followed by my youngest son 6 weeks after. Just before my sons first anniversary found out my husband was having an affair then my lloyal trusted dog died...and my usually say is I'm fine ...but I'm not.. I am crumbling under that mask.

Hi there,

I have often thought from working with people in mental health settings over the years, and then myself being a sufferer, that a lot of people with mental health problems don't have an issue with a mask being in a certain role (for instance, the role of worker, partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband etc) as long as it is straight forward and up front on how the role should be played, what the expectations are etc from other people, so you know how to please others and get on as well as you can. I seem to struggle the most with what happens when I don't have a 'role' or 'mask' to hide behind, when someone wants to know 'me' - who am I? What do I like? Will they like me if I don't know? What if I change my mind tomorrow? Where do I want to be? What do I want for my future? Do I even see a future? Do I love this person? What is love? Can I even love someone? What is trust? Do I trust anyone? I don't trust myself that's for certain, but how do you know if you trust someone? Can you trust someone half way?

Basically I have tons of questions that are never answered in relation to the 'me' person. 

The masks I can find somewhat easier, give me a role to play, like a job description and employee specification - and shabam, I can exceed in doing well in an interview and 'performing' and 'pretending' to be exactly what has been described, but then when the mask falls or people try to get to know 'me' - I'm screwed! 

Very tiring and exhausting indeed it is to keep up with masks, but we all use them to some degree, some more than others.