Depression and fear and anxiety!!

Hi I admit that I do feel is it worth it, worth living through the pain especially if you have a flare from hell, and you cant take more MSD and steroids.  But I try and think be positive I know its hard but you will get through it.

Hi Jester,

brilliant that you now have someone other than your son who wants to be with you and accepts you for who you are.  I hope that through them you`ll start to embrace the fact that your different and be happy with it.  When it comes to *everyone else* they too are all different, none of us are the same as others, we just think they are. Enjoy life with your girlfriend and hopefully through her, see the world a wee bit differently and embrace who you are, and to quote a close friend, sod the rest as they don`t really count in your life. 

Take it from me; you are "normal"

I too never seemed to fit in ,I was always the loner; painfully shy with no confidence. As i got older my confidence did improve; my outlook changed as I took the "If they don't like me then that was their problem, not mine"

I do now realize that I have lots of friends. I am sure that you do also but choose to be over critical of yourself. 

As a parent ; your children will always need you no matter of their age. 

Reading your post I feel that you lack confidence. When reflecting on your negative points; add a positive .

You will surprise yourself. If you are struggling then ask your girlfriend/family etc how they see you.

Practise relaxing techniques including focusing on your breathing.

Do something for "you". Set aside some time each day just for you; no one else. This will build your confidence as the "happy hormones" are released.

Aim to do something outside your comfort zone. Prove to yourself that you have so much to offer; which everyone has but choose to ignore.

Do some voluntary work , speaking from experience the reward is amazing plus it helps you to put your issues aside.

Don't give in to those negative thoughts. Love yourself as others love you, including your son. If anything here on in this is the time that your son will need you there more than ever before. I speak from experience.

Little by little, day by day.

x

Having read the above comments my heart goes out to you.So far in the last year I have a much loved brother in law and sister in law plus my own Mum after a long battle with dementia . For the last two years she was no longer my Mum because of it .4 days after her funeral I collapsed and woke up in the HD unit at my local hospital and have been back in again since . In the past all that alone would have had me in the full depth of depression but although I have struggled I have overcome that plus being diagnosed as diabetic and serious complications with my asthma I have kept going and managed on the whole to keep up beat .I take 1 day at a time , practice breathing techniques and mindfulness exercises , wrote my feelings down in poetry , talked it through with people and kept busy . There is a way forward ,a light at the end of the tunnel and by writing about your depression you have  taken the first step . It's not easy but look for local resources , talk to your doctor , see if there are any courses which might help ( try future learn they do a good course in basic mindfulness exercises ) and my local adult education centre did a free course in what they call well being for people who suffer from depression .

To the gentleman ,whose name I can no longer find who was saying that he was suffering from depression  asthma I have this problem as well . They are often linked but I have learned that if I let my depression beat me the asthma is worse because of the higher stress levels .Ask to see a physiotherapist who understands about asthma and ask them to give you some breathing exercises and coping techniques  , it does help but you might have to travel , my nearest is 50 miles away butI have found it invaluable .Also talk to your doctor about your medicines and see if they can adjust them .As for the attack you had on waking it could still be stress or something in your bedroom .I have been on a research trial for a laser machine which is in effect a high powered air filter which also helps to ease the pressure on my lungs and it works for me  I am not suggesting that but certainly a plug in air filter might help.

Everyone goes through the doldrums at one time or another. However, you have to know the difference between just the regular blues and major depression. Sometimes what starts out to be a minor case of the blues can end up dragging you down so much that it results in depression. When you down, it is important that you do not ignore those feelings. Sometimes those feelings will not just go away on their own. You have to do something for yourself to bounce back. This article will give you some advice about that.

When you are not in a good mood, give yourself some time alone to reflect. What is bothering you? Did something happen recently that caused you to feel depressed? Get a piece of paper and write down the possible causes of your sad feelings. If you have been feeling that way for a while, it is time to take a serious look at the possible causes.

After you have written your list, look at each item to see if you can do anything about it. Can you change the situation in any way? Can get help in solving the problem? Write down some solutions that you can take. Writing things down is actually very therapeutic for you. Think of it as putting down your weight and moving on. Once you write something down, you do not have to carry it in your head any longer. You will only deal with it when you are ready.

Give yourself the opportunity to feel happier. Go outside and enjoy a walk in the park. Look at the nature around you. If you have a pet, spend some time with it. People say that pets can de-stress a person and bring about a calm feeling. You will be warmed by the affection from your pet.

Go and get some exercise. Studies have shown that exercising helps your body release endorphins, the chemical in your brain that makes you feel good. This is why runners have a euphoric feeling after a good run. This positive chemical is coursing through their brain, making them feel like they are at the top of the world. You can get a sense of that feeling if you go out for a bike ride or work on some weights. Find a physical activity that you enjoy. You not only will feel better, but you will get in good shape.

Eat a properly balanced diet. Foods have an effect on how you feel. Junk food may give you a brief moment of pleasure when you are eating it, but it will leave your body feeling tired and your brain exhausted because they are not nourished properly. Certain foods have elements that make you feel good, like chocolate.

As you can see, there are things that you can do to get yourself out of the doldrums. Do not ignore those feelings. Nip those negative feelings in the bud before they turn into something more serious.

It can be hard but from the sound of it you have a lovely family , your son is a credit to you , well balanced , healthy and happy so you are obviously doing something right , Take that on board when you get bad  , talk or if it is easier write about how you are feeling.  like you say it's helped .Try and find something that you can do with your family particularly your son as keeping busy does help as you don't dwell on things so much ,In the meantime  you have your fellow members here who will be thinking of you and who you can always sound off at , many of us have been there so we do know how you feel

I'm new to this Forum so please bear with me. I'm really scared and having the most awful feelings of panic and anxiety. I know it may seem trivial to others but to me I'm in hell. My daughter is leaving for university in Stockholm on Monday for a year and wont even be home for Christmas! It is life changing for me as I'm in a very unhappy marriage and have no family or friends here that I can rely on. Everyone has busy lives and I can't expect them to put their lives on hold for me.

Having said that it leaves me vulnerable and anxious..the impending loneliness is making me panic and I have thoughts of ways of ending my life.

Is there anyone who understands these feelings and can help me through these desperate times. 

Config I can only imagine how you feel .I rely on my family for so much and we are such a close knit unit .The very thought of my 24 year old son finally leaving home fills me with dread and yet part of me feels guilty that I might be stopping him leaving because of my health . I am so lucky though in having a brilliant husband so I don't know what to say on that score . The only advice I can give is to see it as an opportunity to move on and try something new . I don't know where you are or what your personal situation is but can you go to the doctors and explain the dread you feel and get some help .If your marriage is so unhappy can you get some sort of marriage counseling or if the worse comes to the worse leave your husband .It is a big step but you need to think what is best for you and your daughter going to university could be a chance to slowly sort your life out .Have you no other friends or family you can talk to or help in any way . You have taken a big step in opening up on this forum and talking about how you feel , build on it and go forward , good luck with the future.

Hello this goes out to all the People who feel down and have fears that they will never come out of it. i am reading book of how to s=cure depression, it says take 1000mg of fish oil a day 500mg of Primrose oil cod liver oil and vit D3 with going out in the afternoon to get some light if not get a SAD LIGHT GO SEE some friend s  exercise, i know the last one is the last thing you what to do 100% works i know been doing it for 25 years last week not done it being feeling down cant slap out of it  feel alone. i luck energy for someone thats full of it i know its in the mind. but its fear! but i ' m not scared, but god i am and it makes me angry. makes things worse when that comes out so i stay in my comfort zone. but its not helping me at all so. i cant win because i stand out from the crowd when i go out people Jurge i dont care but when police come up to me and say i cant do my exercise were i please it bothered  me get me into trouble i also think i have ADHD. I THINK A LOT  its always the worst things that are in my life that are the most prevalent its never ending. all i what is to be accepted but everyone two faced   i find it hard to trast i have little feath in the system we are living in when they are iives are on there hands and they can kill you throw luck of care talking about hospitals, they killed my dad, some as the Police do what the fuck they like and get away with it. i will not take there bull shit. or anybody else so i am depressed.