Living with depression whilst getting older

Hello icecream, you know when I read your post you really got to me and I mean that in a nice way you made me realise just how lucky I am. I am old yes, I am 76 and  I have in life what I nead and compared with some others I guess I am fortunate and yet and yet and for the life of me and I dont know why, I need help, you see some times, well it's quite often if I were to be honest, I just want to say good night. Maybe it's as the Americans call it, I am suffering with Cabin Fever. The nights are long , you cant get out and do anything in the garden or you just dont feel like doing anything so I just sit in my $%&#*€ chair all day watching the world go by and it's a treat when I have to go to one of my clinics just to do something different, like today, this afternoon its Diabetic clinic, Yahoo yippee ime doing something different. My problem is is that I feel to sorry  for myself and I recognise that and I really wish that I could get out of this hole that I am in but I cant, that's why I need the help that I am getting. All I can say is that if I had had the life that you have had I would have good reason to feel the depressed way that I do, but compared with you my friend,(Can I call you that?) my life has been comparatively easy. Icecream, I send you my sincere and very best wishes and I hope you have a nice day. Ime off now to have a bath so that my feet are nice and clean for my Diabetic clinic.

RolandKi. 

hi Rolandki 

thanks for the kind words mean alot ,,, one thing iv learnt about depression there are no boudries, old young, rich poor, skinny obse , healthy sick,,,,,the disease hurts all kinds it takes from us all life joy feelings love happiness, so you just chill in your chair chill when you go out ,have anice day and say hello to mr trump for me ,,lol,,,

 Hi guys and girls my story and not competing with anyone hope it helps.

I will keep brief as don't want to re traumatize myself 
Sexualy,mental, physical abuse from 9 till 13 when given away to a strange family at first no legal process involved just a dss book Then joined the army at late 15s and was at war for 2 and a half years at 17 lost 10 brothers 8 all in 1 go, left in 91 only just received treatment in 2016 and in 2017 the very people we fight for gave me help. Then in 2018 they took my esa from me! So not only have I been left 38 years they now want to hurt me more anyway won that one but lost the year anyway January 2019 they take my PIP from me and now lost everything I and help for heroes have put in place. My point is that no matter what Depression and anxiety on there own are nothing more that lifestyle and friends choices as they can also come down to this. Yet I keep a manageable balance of depression by exercise, music and good friends. :)   

I am 70 this June, have been struggling with depression most of my life, it turned homicidal in 1993, just at the time my marriage shattered, leaving me to raise four children on my own, eldest aged 11, youngest 3 months. Looking after the kids helped me handle the depression, that and a good GP and a great social worker, who got me rehoused 400 miles away, reducing the chances of me turning the homicidal thoughts into action.

Well the kids have all got their own lives and have all moved on. Me, I'm alone now, even more so because of this covid-19 crises and the social distancing. Before, not really so bad as I am gregarious and will start a conversation with anyone anywhere.

I have found that when I start to get down, sometimes, if I listen to the music of my youth, it conjours up happy memories. When this doesn't work, in my minds eye I build a glass tank, 3 miles long, by 3 miles wide, by 3 miles deep. Into this monster tank, I pour 25% cat pee and 75% cat poo until the tank is full. Then an army transport helicopter comes along, it carries all of my gremlins, you know those nasty little buggers who whisper nasty things in my ear, while perched on my shoulder. When the helicopter is exactly 500 feet above the centre of the tank, the first of my gremlins is thrown out and I get to watch him fall into my tank and try to swim to the side. They never do make it and as soon as the first drowns, the second is thrown from the helicopter and so on and on until all of my gremlins are gone.

Hiding the fact that you suffer depression or anxiety or any other such illness only makes it worse. There is no need to feel embarrassed, at least one quarter of the population are suffering too and more like half, simply because so many are too embarrassed or scared to admit that they suffer.

Talk therapy works for a lot of people, joining a group of fellow sufferers can be a great help.

Whatever you decide to do, stay healthy and remember you are not the only one and that no matter how bad it is for you, you can bet your last penny, that out there is someone who knows exactly what you are going through.

Remember the old saying, "a trouble shared is a trouble halved." 

@yo-yoing  Hi sister, just like me and many others we make bad choices hence depression. sometimes the education system breeds ignorance and greed, hence many good folks been left like us good guys. 

Does anyone feel like their depression deepens as they age? I feel it creeping up with each year that passes. Every year I see more and more friends and relatives pass on, and I can't help but feel that I will soon be alone. Can anyone relate?

@sodowninsurrey I definitely know what you mean. I've lived with my depression most of my life and I do think it changes with age. A lot of unknown occurs. Health deteriorates. Things that brought me joy no longer do in the same way. A lot of people I once knew have moved on or have even passed away. But maybe with time I've learned to just accept it? Some days I feel better than others.

Hello everyone, thank you for your comments! 

For those of you who may not have seen this discussion yet: Have you seen an evolution in your depression as time has passed? Have you found any treatments or other activities that help you to feel better? Do you have any advice to share?
@mahjabeen‍ @Heather22‍ @Lorrainecarey‍ @Sandraslemons‍ @Dundeeman1‍ @wxnderlxnd‍ @mattmar12‍ @Tyann1‍ @SarahWidge‍ @wabews‍ @Annie567.‍ @Debra#‍ @jack54‍ @Daz123‍ @SusanBouhlel‍ @Alison74‍ @Caro18‍ 

Feel free to share with us here, we're all here to support one another!

Take care,
Courtney

@Courtney_J  I don't know if my depression has worsened per se, but it has definitely evolved and changed with me over the years. I try to be mindful of all the good things in my life and it does help some days when I'm feeling especially down.

I have not found anything that helps im starting to hate myself