depression

Hi Jessa and welcome.

I too was diagnosed with anxiety depression and ended up off work ,which stressed me even more as I didn't get paid. I was offered counselling but declined it at the time. I didn't feel it was the right time but I also had a great support network ,although I didn't want to burden them with my problems/thoughts.

The turning point for me was when I became suicidal. With medication and a lot of self help ;I am now in a wonderful place ;for most of the time. 

My 30 yr marriage to 'my soulmate' ended due to his adultery ; his choice as he was diagnosed as being psychotic/delusional and despite us all supporting him he chose to try and lead a double life. He ended up marrying her in secret which says it all really. The things that he has said/done over the 40 years together are all coming out now and sadly he will never change/ recover because he is still in denial. It was so hurtful/shocking hearing that he was telling work colleagues that I was terminally ill with cancer. The truth always comes out in the end. He chose to even lie at his psychiatric assessment where we spent our 30 th wedding anniversary. His loss but I was totally heartbroken as were all of our family/friends; his behaviour was totally out of character.

My new partner has also had a rough time; his wife also committed adultery, he lost his job, his kids , he was self medicating on scotch, he ended up living rough before going in to rehab which sadly didn't work as he was in denial. As if losing that all wasn't enough ,he was also diagnosed with a terminal illness. His wife decided not to support him as they were still together.

He was suicidal enough one evening to drink/drive . He was admitted to hospital and spent a few weeks in there only to be readmitted after 'his wall came tumbling down + he hit rock bottom'. He no longer self medicates and has realized that contrary to his upbringing it is 'OK to say you are struggling and to actually talk about what is happening in your mind" It has been hard but he is a completely different person to the one 12 months ago.

Although we have only been together for a short time ;we have both blossomed together .

My dad was diagnosed with COPD , whilst my sister with Cancer. I was facing redundancy from my part time job along with my now ex playing mind games with us all.

I have always hated January before all of this . It is so dreary /gloomy.

You need to accept that no one is 'happy' 24/7.

Remind yourself how well you have done to beat your illness before. You are strong; so focus on that.xx

The important thing is to be gentle on yourself. Don't over analyze and don't beat yourself up.

Take time out for 'you'. Do things for you , no matter how small.

Concentrate on your breathing; great in times of stress/anxiety.

Adopt the 2 steps forward, 3 steps back approach.

Little by little, day by day.

Be patient. Depression is like a  death and sadly  grief has no expiry date.

Don't look too far ahead as you may become overwhelmed.

Can you identify what has caused your depression etc? Is it job related?

I am struggling at the moment as my mum had just been diagnosed with lymphoma. I feel like a child again and not an adult.

I am practicing what I preach  and putting my coping strategies in place because I know from my own personal experience that I need to take control again before all those horrible, dark, lonely ,frightening emotions/feelings return. 

You can get to that happy place in time. Believe in yourself

Here to chat/support.

Julie xx

Hi there I've been struggling this last couple of weeks and beeb in a dark place with some bad thoughts at the moment I don't have the wanting to be at home or work and just want to get away from everyone and everything.

Hi alunsue; Sorry to read that you have been struggling. 

Do you recognize what has taken you to that horrible dark place?

I do hope that today has been gentle for you?

Here if you wish to chat/off load.

Gentle hugs wrapped with love.

Julie x

I don't know what's triggered it but I don't want to be at home nor work and don't know which way to turn all I want to do is be on my own but I know that won't happen thanks for listening xx

I can clearly remember feeling the same as you are at this moment in time. I couldn't wait to get home as I would want be alone but once home it felt so empty. 

Try and calm your mind down; totally relax ,emptying your mind completely. Concentrate on your breathing, listen to some soothing music; anything to focus on in a positive way

Go for some long walks ,taking in your surroundings; appreciate all that you see/hear.

Accept that you are low and try not to over think things. 

I am always here to listen Alunsue so please don't ever feel alone because you are never alone on this group.

Gentle hugs

Julie xx

It's difficult at the moment due to me struggling at work and things not very pleasant at home which is why being in no one's way seems a good idea but u have 2 children and a granddaughter on the way which people would argue isn't that enough to make me happy and ask me why not 

When suffering with depression it is hard for those that have not had any personal experience of depression to understand why you aren't happy when the to those on the 'outside' you have a lot to be grateful for and whilst you know that you do, you just don't/can't feel it

When I was struggling with daily life , well meaning people would tell me how'I had everything ;loving family, friends, lovely home etc and how my now ex was the loser'

Yes, I understood that I was in the better position but I actually didn't feel that way. The majority of people couldn't understand why I was so low as 'I had everything' When in the depths of depression ,you don't either view it or feel that way as logic/reasoning flies out of the window.

May God forgive me but when our first grandchild was born ; all that was going on completely took the excitement off the event. Life just seemed 'dark' .I couldn't truly enjoy the excitement of my grandchild's birth as I was wrapped up in my own world.

Do you understand what I mean?

Please be gentle on yourself and take time out for 'you'.

I completely understand you and how you feel. It is all part of your illness.

Always here to listen.

Gentle hugs

Julie x

Little by little, day by day.x

It's hard at the moment to grab time for myself as I'm either working or home xx

It's hard at the moment to grab time for myself as I'm either working or home xx

Apologies for posting it more than once I was doing it from my phone at the time