Depression.

Hello frank I currently moved to France 3 wks ago and my anxiety levels are through the roof I don't take medication because it was causing severe stomach problems and now am surviving on a daily basis with help from sights I've joined just so I can vent my worries which go from small to of the scale do you get the breathless feeling and the palpitations and a constant feeling that people don't like you I question everyone and then go through the usual it must be me its a horrible silent illness to have,I'm here if you need to chat in confidence about anything 

Hi Trendy,  I can remember from my own personal experience having anxiety attacks when I thought that I was dying when I had my first one. Concentrating on your breathing will make you focus on that instead of the attacks. Just remind yourself that you won't die from it. Practice doing this often. I still focus on my breathing if I feel stressed /anxious as it really does calm you.  Depression is so unforgiving on the individual as logic goes out of the window. 

When in the darkest, loneliest, painful frightening place that I have ever experienced, I never ever envisaged anything changing for the better. The turning point for me was thoughts of how easy it would be to walk in to traffic. Thank goodness I then realized that despite telling not only concerned family/ friends but more importantly "myself" that I was coping i wasn't.

When anxious/stressed I experience stomach problems and the medication didn't alleviate these symptoms , something that I still have today in time of anxiety but I have learned to cope. 

It has been a long dark journey with no short cuts or "get out "cards but I am in a wonderful place in my life and you will be also; it just takes time and a lot of self help.

Yes, I still have low days but who doesn't?

I truly believe that once you have hit rock bottom there is only one way to go ...up.

I also believe that you will never ever feel those intense feelings of depression ever again as you have coping strategies in place as soon as you feel the cloud floating in.

Acknowledging , accepting and embracing all the help 100% is a massive task but it works.

Talking is the best tool available as the more you talk about your emotions/issues the less impact those issues become/have. 

For every negative there is a positive it is just hard to discover it. Despite never wishing what I have been through on anyone the positive for me has been a sharp learning curve..

It has made me realize how strong I am , it has led me to go outside my comfort zone and thus opened doors for me. It has made me realize that I can cope with anything now and there is nothing to be truly afraid of.

It has made me realize that I need to make time for "me" instead of running around after others. I am the most important person to me  as if i am not in a good place mentally then I am no good for anyone else.

It has been hard thinking of myself as a success instead of the failure I thought that I was. My confidence/self esteem has soared.

I have a new partner after thinking that my life was over.

It is about taking time to notice the flowers instead of the weeds.

Being gentle on yourself and not being over critical.

Telling yourself that people aren't talking about you or don't like you. Adopt I am me so accept it. Don't let their problem become yours as you have more than enough going on in your life to deal with, In reality it is probably your brain playing mind games .

You really can get to a better/wonderful place , a place where you deserve to be. Patience is a key word; something that I have learned with time.

Always here to chat/support/encourage.

Little by little, day by day. 

Gentle hugs

Julie x

Thankyou Julie I'm looking forward to coming out the other side I'm going to try breathing exercises and meditation music,I am terrible for over thinking situations example if I'm going out in the car with hubby ie anywhere I foresee things happening having a crash are the car getting damage if my hubby goes out on his own I'm always thinking the worst is he safe will he come home will I end up on my own list is never ending,my daughter is coming to stay from the uk for the first time soon and she as hired a car from the airport I'm now on constant worry alert thinking something is going to happen to her can't sleep and won't till I actually see her,and they do drive horrendous over here in France which doesn't help,I have IBS and suffering badly at the moment because of the stress I would love to see a light at the end of the tunnel X 

Please try and calm yourself down; no one has a crystal ball, so none of us can know what is going to happen.Try and tell yourself that it truly isn't worth worrying over something that you have no control over. Channel that negative energy in to a positive.  I do understand how weary this "over thinking ' can become ,so it up to you to take back that control of your mind ; it won't be easy but along with your coping strategies it will become easier; honestly. 

Take it from me, a mum of 4 you never stop worrying about your children , no matter how old they are but it is about putting things in to prospective.

Anxiety is terrible; it gets in to every nook and cranny in your mind.....if you allow it. Logic really does go out of the window when suffering with anxiety/depression.

I don't know when you were last on medication but it may be worth returning to your GP + being totally honest/open about your levels of anxiety. New medications are constantly coming on the market;along with other therapies.

Try and keep yourself occupied and don't give your thoughts "head space" .

When having worries regarding your daughter replace them with the good times that you will be having ; concentrate on making special memories instead of something that is most unlikely to happen. 

The same when thoughts regarding your husband; replace negativity with positive things even if it is to make him a meal. Swap one thought for another. You can do it; just get your "mindset"in to gear.

What you are experiencing is "normal" in the world of depression. You are not alone and it will get better but you have to be patient and gentle on yourself.

Along with talking, talking and talking some more; the breathing exercises will be your saviour. Totally focus on your breathing being conscious of taking air in and letting it out very slowly.

Imagine the air leaving every part of your body; keep it controlled. I still do this and it really does calm you down.

Let go every thought in your head; really easier said than done. I always used to tell people that my head was empty as I could be so dipsy but in the midst of my issues it was full of irrational, dark thoughts running round and never allowing me to rest.

I was prescribed Amitryptline   for this , just to relax me thus allowing me to sleep. I would be walking my dog at silly o clock just to try and stop my frantic mind. I was constantly tired due to lack of sleep so I couldn't concentrate on even simple things nor was able to remember things. I did think that I was going mad 

You really can get through this and have such a wonderful life , looking back and not feeling those intense feelings/emotions that you are going through now. 

Always here to chat,support and encourage.

Little by little, day by day.

Julie xx

Thankyou Julie it's helping knowing someone understands me and doesn't think I'm just a grouch and moaning,I will put into practice what you have suggested I'm willing to try anything I was on amitryptline and venaflaxine for 6 years and I came off them doctors suggestions because of a stomach bleed so they gave me cbt therapy which helped so might think of going back to therapy it's not helping having done just a big move to France but I will definitely try what you've suggested and thankyou for being there it so helps X 

Believe me when i say that I totally understand you. Get talking ; message me privately as I have been down that dark road . 

Good for you moving to France; life is too short for regrets in life.

Small steps my friend ,don't let your day run away with you in your brain. 

I will always be here for you.

Gentle hugs

Julie 

Aw thankyou Julie not had to bad a day kept busy so didn't have much time to think and analysis things it's 2am wide awake now as per but I'm reading and taking my mind somewhere else it's good to know I've someone to talk with much appreciated x

Not feeling the best at the moment as my chest is bad with asthma and my daughters been taken to hospital and kept over the weekend at least.  She has already lost one of the twins so we are hoping she will carry full term with this one. They have been great at the hospital looking after her and the baby.

Still doesn't help me with my chest or depression from worry and being anxious about the whole thing at the minute.

Take care to  you all.

Alun

Hi Trendy; I understand those times when for the life of you, you don't feel ready for sleep but you are weary. It was great to read that you were "gentle" on yourself yesterday regarding over analyzing/thinking ; so well done, you are a star

What are you up to today?

I spent many hours yesterday wrapping presents. I was feeling smug on completing the task but on going to put various gifts in to bags ready for handing out, i can't find 3 which aren't even small but are together. I am like this EVERY  Christmas; losing gifts. As my sons say "It is now a tradition"

Have a wonderful afternoon and hope to chat later with you.

I will always be here to chat.

Big hugs, wrapped with love.

Julie 

Hi Alun. So sorry to read about your daughter; I hope/pray that all goes well. I suffered with 2 miscarriages and it is the worst feeling ever so my heart goes out to you all, especially your daughter.

I do hope that you are soon feeling better, having Asthma really can be the pits. 2 of my children suffered with asthma. It is so tiring and with having a chest infection doesn't help. Look after yourself.

Sending you big ,gentle hugs wrapped with love.

Julie