Dating

Well I went out on a date last night everything went well, sent her a text to say I got home safe, and asked if we could meet again she said yes. Then this morning I get a text to say I'm a lovely man but not what she's looking for. Just can't understand it, now I see why it's not worth all the hassle to get a kick in the teeth.

Stu, Don't give up, its not gonna happen just like that. Just to let you know it didn't work out for me either and that was after 3 dates. And then yeah, was game over, he gave me some pathetic excuse. He turned out to be an arse hole anyway !!! Seriously I really do believe there is someone out there for all of us, its just finding them or them finding us.

Big Hugs Stu

Deb

xx

Thanks Deb's, A hug would be great right now, in fact better a few days ago when I hit the bottom hard and I wasn't thinking to good on which way I should go!!! Well I've been fighting my head for a few days and thankfully I've managed to lift myself up a bit and the world doesn't look as black and bleak as it did then.

What I have to say that dating sites are not a good place to go but where else is there to try and find someone? About 90% of the women on there don't trust you and think your either married, some kind of sex maniac or trying to rob them. Then on the other hand there's women on there that is just looking for sex and make it plain what they are after. So trying to find someone and get them to believe that your looking for love and a long lasting relationship is very difficult. But I'll keep trying, and I'm getting used to the lies and having the door shut in my face so to speak lol.

Thanks again Deb's your a lovely, kind, caring, considerate, lady. 

xxx(((((deb))))xxx

Hi stu

i have been single for 8 years now tried dating sites a few years back but found the men to be exactly as you describe the women, I didn't get any further tan texting and phoning, I had issues with body image and most just wanted sex. No love no care and certainly no respect so I gave up. I believie that I will meet someone if I'm meant to, still waiting lol. Since then though have had more surgeries so don't think I will find anyone now for a while  just when I want someone the most, just because being on your own there is no one to share ur thoughts with, good or bad,is sad but won't go back to dating sites and all the rubbish on there wanting a partner to accompany them rock climbing or water rafting etc or just sex. So I guess I'm saying you may not find someone on line but that doesn't mean always being alone, respect yourself and only accept the best, it will come, especially when you least expect it. You and every one in this discussion is worth far more than the chancers on those sites. Smile and hold your heads up with all that we are coping with we deserve love and respect. i get very down at times as I just want to share With someone special my qualities and love, but will not settle just for the sake of it even in my lowest points, deep down I know I'm worth more as should you all. You are all loving caring and amazing people, just read the posts and you can see it. Love and hugs to you xx Dee

Hi Dee thanks for your comments and advice. I did find someone on a disabled dating site and we were going to live together. I fact some of my things are still there as I'd started to move in with her. But everything started to go wrong so decided it wasn't going to work out. I have learnt a lot from my experience and I'm not going to rush anything the next time, well if I manage to find someone. I have tried a lot of dating sites but find there all a rip off as they run 2-3 different sites so there trying to get you to join other sites, they only care about taking your money and nothing else. I joined Plenty of Fish (PoF) you don't have to pay and you still get a few benefits not like other dating sites. What I did was put down my problems and left it up to the woman to contact me. I have had some results from being truthful so I'll stay on that site and who knows, just wait as see if I have any luck or not. I have had a few women contact me and say they liked how honest my profile was, what I thought strange was some of these women had medical problems but never said so on there profile, they decide to get talking to someone first then they tell them which I think is being dishonest.

Hope you find who your looking for Dee, take care,

Stu xx

Thank you Stu

my problem is and was lack of self worth, I know I'm not ugly but the last year has been difficult. I've had 3 surgeries the first life saving, the whole year has been around recovering from each surgery and now they are over I don't except the changes in me. Goodness knows how someone else will. I will just have to take things slowly if I meet someone before I trust them enough to tell them. I think it's different for everyone but I don't think it's being dishonest, it's just that some have to accept themselves first Before taking that risk. It's just such a shame that some people are so judgemental, it creates a fear of being open.

i don't want marathon walks on beaches or trekking up mountains, some days I can barely put one foot in front of the other. I just want to share, with warmth and care, but that seems to be the last thing some want. I'm rambling now but good to get out how I feel.

good luck in dating all of you, I hope you truly find what you want, just take it slow so you look after yourselves.

Dee x

Hi all... I've been going out with someone for about 5 months and the last week has been really tough. We've had two big arguments and I'm exhausted from the anxiety and depression that is made inevitably worse by the added stress. I find it really hard to know when I'm over reacting or having an anxiety attack as opposed to genuine feelings of anger or sadness sometimes... does anyone else have this problem?

Hi Karen, Sometimes I think its best to sit and talk to the other person, in this case your boyfriend. Tell him what you think the reasons are for the row's you have been having. 5 mths into a relationship is still very early, remember you'll still be getting to know each other. Have a chat and see where it leads, I think it will definitely give you a few more answers. 

Debs

Xx

Thanks Debbie. We broke up last night. Devastated. It was kind of mutual but more so on his side of things. Definitely not helping with the fact that I've been feeling very low recently anyway. Really struggling at the moment. Called in sick to work today but will have to go back tomorrow, honestly don't know if I can cope with work and the fact that he's working in a shop right across from me. xx

Hi Karen, Try not to look on whats happening right now as a negative. Depression can be a very selfish disease, which in turn can make us selfish. Maybe look on this now as a positive, being single right now is what you might just need now. We all have different coping mechanisms, I just feel what is good for you at the mo, is to 110% focus on you. Trust me sweetheart you will get there and its very true that no bad time lasts forever. Took me a very long time to believe that, but I do now and you will as well in time.

Always here for you

Debs

Xx