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Boyfriend suffers from severe depression and pushing me away
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Stormy
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Stormy
Last activity on 19/01/2023 at 00:05
Joined in 2016
67 comments posted | 35 in the Depression Forum
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Hey all,
Sorry you have been having a rotten time Tibby, I have been on both side of the equation, more times than I can remember, it sounds like his mind is struggling to process his Truma.
We often stay in shock for longer than we realise, my concern would also be about your health, it is hard to go through what you are going through.
Your Boyfriend will only process at the rate he can cope with, but the journey is his to be had, no matter how supportive our partners are and I am sure many will agree with me here, sometimes nothing will help, its like a 100,000 piece puzzle that you have no picture to, you have to take the past that you had that has been destroyed by whatever truma you have experienced and then take the future you had imagines that has also been destroyed and try and piece them all together, to function in the present.
You need to look after yourself, if you too become unwell, it will not help either of you or your relationship.
It isn't easy to look after yourself when you are more concerned about someone else, until you realise you cant look out for them, if you are in no fit state, physically mentally and emotionally.
everyone here is right in their own way, but there are few universals on this journey, many partners feel it is there job and there right to look after there other half when they are on this journey, but many depressed people while are struggling to look after themselves, they are often depressed about that very thing. so trying to help all the time can be quiet overwhelming for them, they feel like they are not improving, they don't always see that you are just trying to ease there pain, they often see it, that you think they cant deal with it on their own, and this can in fact disempower them, I know your boyfriend is walking a dark path, with his own demons fast on his heels, and you want nothing more but to shine your light on them, but if he is not ready to face them, it can set him back.
You are an amazing and supportive partner and he is lucky to have you, believe me there will be a turning point, but only he can turn that wheel. your job needs to be keeping yourself on track, checking in on him from time to time, letting him know you are always there day or night even if it is just as a friend.
Please look after yourself too.
Love light and peace x
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Stormy by Day Stormy by Night
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Hi Lee,
Yeah me as well, been single for 8ish years now. Not sure if anyone could put with me !! But you know what, I quite like it being just me. How are you right now ? Seems like forever since we were in contact on here.
Debs
Xx
LeeBee
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LeeBee
Last activity on 01/09/2022 at 20:51
Joined in 2015
187 comments posted | 122 in the Depression Forum
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I am the same as you Debs, but don't mean we have to be down like you single or not its all about me..;)
TY
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Lee
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tibby103
tibby103
Last activity on 26/02/2021 at 22:35
Joined in 2015
6 comments posted | 6 in the Depression Forum
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I would like to ask for help as I'm trying to understand my boyfriends condition. He suffers from severe depression and anxiety and last weekend was a year since something nasty happened in his life. For the last 2 weeks he has been feeling anxious due to the anniversary, and been pushing me away, I stupidly saw this as not wanting to be with me, and my insecurities came into play, almost destroying us. My boyfriend has now taken a few steps back, rather than forward and wont even talk or see me. I'm devastated as he's my world. Hanging in limbo and not knowing is killing me. He's told me he needs to clear his head and concentrate on getting himself back to normal. I've mentioned getting help together and to let me help, but I'm not sure I'm making any progress with him. I want to understand how to help him. Heartbroken. x