Black dog on my shoulder

Right I want you to do some tasks (writing a list and ticking things off will help too);

1. Go and be sad. Lie down for half an hour, let the feeling wash over you and cry if you need to, get it out. 

2. once you have cried go and eat something or have a bath.

3. next time you feel hopeless (in the deepest part where there is no more oxygen) Lie on your back and focus entirely on your breathing and how your body feels. Nothing else. Physically focus and breathe. Lie there meditating as long as you need.

4. eat something.

5. Stretch.

6. ring someone.

7. draw something.

8. watch t.v

9. walk the dog

10. Go through your socks and throw away old ones.

11. message me.

Those suggestions are really good. I know they were intended for struggling but hope you don't mind.

:) Thanks. Even doing the simplest thing can be an achievement when just waking up feels like a chore...

To Struggling; I do hope that you are feeling brighter? You can/will get better in time; day by day, little by little. Don't look too far ahead. Take the time to do the things that made you happy in your good days. Anything to release the "happy hormones". Eat well, rest, go for long walks with your dog. Take note of the positive things that you overlook due to you looking at negative things. Notice the birds singing , how green the grass looks; silly things really that we all take for granted. Small changes will get you there.

I am sure your suggestions might help a little but there is something in your list that worries me. In a number of Scandinavian countries the most common method of suicide amongst older people involves Zopiclone. People take a handful and then get in the bath. They become unconscious,slip below the level of the water and drown.

Recommending taking a bath, as you do, if you are taking a combination of drugs that may be significantly sedative could be dangerous. Heaven forbid that people should take a bath and carry on with meditating/relaxing. People falling asleep in their early days of learning meditation is very common.

Having someone to check on you periodically might mitigate the risk.

Yes this is a good point, maybe have some music on or read a book to try and keep your mind awake whilst bathing. or shower if that helps, showers are a good way to bring oneself back to earth. 

I would add to all this, if you have a small moment in which you feel good enough to go out and search for a volunteering activity, for me it has changed everything. I know you have your kids and might take a lot of time, I don't have kids so I have some spare time all the time.... But really, I am volunteering at a hospital with sick kids and it is being life changing, it makes me stop thinking about not wanting to eat or feeling fat...

I completely agree with aria88; volunteering can be a real eye opener for you and actually help you to put things in to perspective. I work with young adults/adults with various learning disabilities which I love. I find  very humbling being fortunate enough to be able to help these individuals. They make the best of what they have got and live life to the best of their ability without feeling sorry for themselves . Putting others and their daily struggles makes you realize how lucky you actually are along with focusing on their struggles instead of your own. It has also helped me to rebuild my confidence/low self esteem. Try it.

To struggling, it's ok to feel the way you do but....you have positives there in the form of your two daughters.  No better reason then those two to get through the day.  Help can come from the most surprising of places sometimes.  you should be proud of yourself to come this far, those here know how difficult it is at times, i have been there myself.  you can get through this, things can be better for you and yours, you are posting because you are looking, which is great.  Don't give it the satisfaction, you are better than that

Hi just joined and hoping to get a little support from the forum xxxx