How do I fix my life?

Hey @sadone!

How are you feeling today?

I am so sorry to hear about your breakup and depression. Do you have someone to talk to about this? Having a family member, friend or therapist can be very helpful. I could also suggest picking up a new hobby or listening to uplifting music. I will tag some members who might want to share their thoughts on this topic. I wish you the best of luck!

@robjmckinney @Arn_UK @whitecross1955 @mr chipps @HarryChubb @Yank34 @Yank34 @Tigger.co.uk @EllieMay1959 @bigbear @Elaineanne @JHubby @KleboldKlan @nazza91 @Brian. @Contessa @Fiona2960 @wardf4 @CLOFLO @Jardin @Jake94 @Angie30 @Siobhanloui93 @Michael4 @Chan989

Hello everyone! How are you doing today?

Have you ever had a bad breakup? How did it affect other areas of your live? What helped you turn the page?

Share your stories and tips!

Take care,

Polina from the Carenity team

Very rarely there is a quick fix, perhaps some happy pills from your GP may help. But you do have several options to reboot your social life. You can opt for a more social contact through a new job where direct contact with people, of course the usual online options. Reboot your social life through various groups that exist in many forms which was my option on my breakup. But getting out and meeting people is the best way, not to start a relationship, just get you out socially which will heal.

Took me two years before I started getting myself around and building a social life. My job as a service engineer took me into homes meeting people eventually meeting my second wife. The simple jobs that get you around meeting people like behind the bar or any job meeting people. I took up taxi driving, bar work all sorts of things which bought contact. Jobs are easy to come by today and even season work at the seaside has benefits.

Not knowing your exact circumstances it is diffircult to advise in detail but meeting up with dreaded society outside your door would work for most people. 45% of all long term relationships are found in the workplace, so worth a try with a new job!

Hi @sadone just seen this discussion & felt the need to ‘jump into’ too. I think your other 3 ‘correspondents’ all had invaluable suggestions re: how to move on. I personally feel whenever situations like yours are experienced, the person (i.e. you) does naturally feel so alone but truly believe the vast majority of us have been ‘where you are’ at the moment.

I was widowed just over 4 years ago, have a multitude of health conditions & now 72. I have lived on my own since my husband passed & NO, I don’t think it’s ever easy but life does carry - probably never the easiest task we all have to do. This certainly does take time and the time this takes, I’ve found, can vary between each of us - I’m sincerely hoping you will feel/begin to know when the time is right for you to do this.

I’ve, personally, have always struggled with ‘accepting’ what life continues to throw at myself but perhaps because of needing to get on, eventually, have increasingly found I had 2 choices in these situations. 1- I could stay in the dark, unhappy place where I was or 2- CHANGE this by thinking/actively doing things differently. Instead of staying in my house alone / avoiding going out un til I had no choice, I made myself go out, initially to do some necessary shopping and then including thinking/planning, even if just looking (& not actually buying) anything that could possibly/hopefully help me to smile, be happier again.

Time really has been a great healer for me. I had been bereaved & felt bereft a number of times in the past. The 1 person always being ‘left behind/alone’ being myself, so consequently, slowly came to the conclusion, I needed to rely on myself, learn to ‘find the person’ I’d been’ before being on my own. I began by re-connecting/interacting more with the people that had been part of my life ‘before’. This somehow expanded to going to different places, meeting new people - sometimes they became part of my current life, sometimes not. All of these connections simply involved social interactions only. I’ve always strongly believed & had experienced that my ‘romantic relationships’ evolved without any pre-planning whatsoever - if/when things are ‘meant to be’ they naturally happen. At the moment @sadone, perhaps simply focus on yourself - hopefully find out ‘who YOU actually are’? Life has a way, if/when I’ve simply kept myself open to whatever comes my way. Wishing you all the very best in the future.

Thank you all so much for your support! It really means a lot to me to hear your advice.

We had been together for 10 years, and I did something a long time ago (slept with someone while we were temporarily not together, you could say it is reminiscent of Friends, we were on a break). I never said anything, and it recently came out and it was taken as a form of betrayal. I feel so guilty and I don't know how to live with this person not in my life. I keep thinking it is possible I could meet someone else, but what happens if I never meet anyone that I share the same connection ever again? Because of this guilt it is making me reevaluate all my life choices, and I really feel like I need to turn a new leaf to "repent" for my mistake. But your comments give me hope that it is possible to. maybe meet someone later? I feel like I will feel like this forever

I belong to a craft group and it is great just to sit and chat, there are many different groups out there some small some large, also a community garden is a great place if you have nearby .

Whatever you don't sit at home a mope about as this will not help. I have worked out what works for me over many years.

You could also be a volunteer again there are many great opportunities for you to try.