I can't do this anymore

@donski I've heard a lot about the problems people have when mixing different medications. It can be quite scary, especially when the "professional" who prescribes them is clueless about it. I heard recently that grapefruit juice can cause major difficulties with all types of meds, even aspirin, so avoid it at all cost! It is alarming to think that some doctors don't fully understand what they are giving us, and the complications that can arise from their ignorance. :)

yep its disgraceful doctors not knowing what the tablets do or how to mix them thought they go taught this in the 7 or 8 years they are at uni I know they cant know everything and every medication but these powerful anti depresents anti psychotics and mood stablelisers they prescribe they should definitely know more about them and what does and doesn't go with it.

Hi everyone, just been reading on the comments re: depression and anxiety and bipolar disorders, well Ive suffered long term depression for 28yrs now, Ive got psycho sematic disorder which was brought on by depression and thats where my body shuts down all my limbs i can not use, when this happens i can not walk or use my hands, i live in a wheel chair now and again, sometimes i can walk sometimes i carnt, my point is i ditched the medication 7yrs ago so im not on any now. i went to college in 2006 to find out why this was happening to me and studied psychology and learnt about my illness and many other illnesses. I came out with a degree in psychology and now im training to be a support worker for the mental health, i still cripple up and i still have to resort to my wheel chair, i felt a lot like what all you have written and i still get low feelings, but i brush myself off and start again every time i get in a low mood, im just glad to be alive, you've got to turn your negatives into positives, thats what i did, maybe this might help some of you, but i am now a local councilor for the government and still at university getting my grades to be qualified into helping the mental health within my area, you need to have the confidence to pick your selfs back up i know its hard Ive been there my doctors were fuming when i refused medication, but at the end of the day i wasn't going to let my disability ruin my life. and im still determined so much i want to care for others like your selfs which im turning my negatives on the way my disability tried to ruin my life into a positive. hope this helps in anyway, but it can be done

I think it's a little more complex than just picking yourself back up?

I agree, it's not that easy, you can't just pick your self up. For me, I'm getting fed up having to pick myself back up. It's becoming tiresome. I really don't want to be like this any more. Sure, I can look back and see that times like this always pass but, when I do I see times like this always happen too.

I'm fed up making plans for when darker times arrive only to find I haven't got it together enough to get through. Then there is dealing with the 'fallout', the destruction that's left. Picking yourself up from the wake of torment is hard work and just as tiring as the torment it's self.

agree @Niamh1 !!! How are you doing lately???

@aria88 

Hi Aria, thank you for checking in on me....and thanks to everyone else for their comments. Things went a bit haywire...meds stopped, started, made things worse, made things better. Trying to piece things together and work out what to do. How are you? I'm so tired from the meds. Done a lot of sleeping over the last few weeks...probably for the best but can't seem to get going. Got lots of things to sort out about all of this. Pretty confusing. People been coming to the house. Grateful but feeling a bit hemmed in. It's all very strange. Sending you a piña colada today. :) Niamh x

@Niamh1 I hear you!!! I haven't been off meds but I've been taking care of myself, eating more and stuff, but I don't know, there is mean aria inside of me that doesn't let me be happy. Everyt time I feel like I am finaly enjoying something, that I've found a balance there she comes and ruins everything making me feel fat, and then I stop eating and I feel dizzy but happy cause I have the will of power of not eating while others stuff their faces and just get fat... pfff I don't know if it is the weather or I need to sleep more, change my mind set, but lately I haven't been feeling that good, a lot of bad thoughts have been coming back and I just want them to stop. I feel this disease is like a roller coaster and a stalker at the same time, it finds me every time no matter how far I try to run. They say it will be with me for the rest of my life, but I dont know how much longer I can take it battling against it.

Sorry if I don't make much sense but I just need to pour all this feelings I have inside, cause at home I need to pretend everything is great and I a happy :(

Send you a piña colada and a mojito ;) x

Cheers everyone

@aria88

Thats ok. You make complete sense. It sounds like you're having a rough time at the minute.  Feeling like you have to pretend everything is ok must be exhausting. :( I understand the fear and exhaustion also of being told "it will be with you forever". That's really difficult to accept..I'm struggling with that at the moment too. However I see such strength in you, you can do it.  Why do you feel you have to pretend everything is ok though? Can you not let someone in? Get a bit of support. I know it's hard.... I struggle to be honest about how bad things are sometimes. Especially when you feel by doing that meds might be increased or alarm bells ring with people. Really suffocating sometimes. However, just sharing a bit has helped me. :)  saying that, feel free to pour your feelings out to me anytime....I'll answer back..though more likely only able to offer virtual hugs and cocktails than solutions. I hope you're doing something nice this weekend and that your bad thoughts don't distress you too much. So done said to me remember your thoughts aren't real and it's ok to have bad thoughts but to let them go.  Bloody hard...especially when I've lost insight/gone round the bend :/ but I keep trying to think that. Anyway, I've gone on. Thinking of you. Take care lovely lady. Niamh x

hello aria88 and Niahm1, this is my first time on a site like this, but as a life long struggler with depression I have had the opportunity to speak with alot of other people going through similar life crises. I have spent some time in hospital with depression,  and , for me , it wasn't so much what the nurses and doctors did for me (not that I'm putting them down as they do really care and try to help) but sharing experiences with others has helped me the most. Always remember that you are not alone x