wanting to self harm

At least you are somewhere where you are understood and you can see that light at the end of the tunnel.

I feel like Im on the other receiving end as I have two boys aged 3 and 6 years of age and am never having the me time. Altough I am  married I still feel like a single parent and pushed out especially when his friends and brother get involved. My husband has a daughter from previous marriage and she thinks it is funny to treat me like something she has trod on.

I have thought about self harmng as it may release some of the pent up issues i have inside. Only thing holding me back at the moment is I do not know how to do it without killing myself outright.

It is good to read that things seem to be on the up for you, fingers crossed it all works out for the best :)

Hiya , Self harming won't release any pent up issues in the long run, they will only add to your pain.

Find other productive ways that don't include self harming to release your frustrations/anger.

Go for a walk ; let your husband spend "quality" time with his sons. Don't let him walk all over you; especially if you are feeling low. 

Communication is so important; does your husband know how low you are feeling?

How old is his daughter?

You have given him the most important thing a woman can give a man..children. 

Does he realize how rude she is to you? 

She may be feeling left out/unloved by her dad or possibly jealous especially if you/your sons have him all the time and she only sees him  every so often?

 Was he separated when you met or does she blame you for him and her mum splitting up?

Your husband needs be made aware of how this is making you feel.

Don't let a child come between you but tread carefully as she may be hurting and lashing out at you because it is easier.

Vent on here. No one will criticize you; only support you.

Honestly, self harming isn't the answer and may well have consequences.

xx

Hi  my name is jon i recently self harmed with broken glass on my arm want to cut myself everyday very upset 

hi jon there are a great deal of reasons why people self harm, have you talked to anybody about this?

Do you know why you self harm? please dont keep it to yourself. Im a 46 year old bloke that has a history of self harming and not just physically, you will be amazed at how many people are willing to understand if you take steps to do something about it.

luckily i have never hurt myself just thoughts. i have spoken about bits of my depression with my colleagues and think it helps with them knowing so if i am having a really bad day, they can support and understand me more. a lot of people do not know how to talk about it and how to react when people talk about it but the more we speak about it, the more people will understand. there is not much done about depression and support is needed for relatives/friends etc to understand how to help you deal with the depression,  they are always worried about what to say/do to make things better and to support you. 

Stevie,

please make sure if anything those thoughts don't turn into actions. ive self harmed for over 4 years now and ive only just turned 18. telling friends, work friends, family does help it will be very hard to talk about as I found out by covering mine up for so long. surrounding yourself with people who understand, even if they don't fully understand un my eyes really helps. it is hard for those who have never suffered with self harming thoughts to understand and talk about it. I think this is because people like us we concentrate on those thoughts and felt that it was normal to have those thoughts then trying to talk to people who had never had those thoughts obviously thought it wasn't normal that's where the barrier is. I agree with you saying there isn't enough support to help family and friends t understand. I love with my grandparents and back when they were young they didn't talk about mental health issues so they don't really understand why I'm like this. I do agree that not having support makes them worried more and sometimes that changes how they are towards you. When they change how they are towards you is because theyre trying to be understanding and supportive but it doesn't always come across right.

this may sound childish but this always makes me fell better when I know ive resisted the thoughts of cutting. I'm proud of you and I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself. please don't give up and remember pain is never permanent

hello guys I have been struggling with self harm for years. but in recent weeks my self harm has increased and is getting less superficial and covers all my limbs top to bottom I was recently in a and e due to self harm. I have tried so many other thinks. vigorous excersise taking baths trying meditation adult dot to dots cooking screaming stabbing things medication alcohol and cannabis porn the list is endless and it is truly exhausting but the only think that works is self harm or cannabis. I am stuck in a cycle and can't see a way out without ending it anyone got any further suggestions things are getting dangerous. 

Hey I've self harmed since I was 11, I turn 30 on the 15th, I've not self harmed in many months, but still have very dark thoughts and urges to do so, it's critical how you deal with those thoughts, see a counsellor, your GP, a psychiatrist, or talk with a friend, whatever helps you most, every person is different, but find alternative less destructive ways to cope with the urges, I use elastics on my hands and feet pull and let go, the snap/ping effect, there are lots of nerve endings in the top of the feet, so I find that more effective if the hands/wrists isn't giving enough effect/relief from the urges, sometimes just talking about my thoughts can help, please don't allow the thoughts to escalate, as I have found, I end up feeling suicidal if I let things fester, good luck everybody  xxx

*Hugs wrapped with Love*

Stumpy. x x x 

thanks for you're response. I have tried the elastic band thing just made urges stronger. cause it wasn't what I wanted. I am in contact with a psychiatrist every 2_3 months last time I saw him he recommended psychotherapy on particular STEPPS I agreed to referral to psychology although he warned me I may get rejected because I use cannabis to self medocate and drink regularly but I haven't heard anything yet about. I also have an assessment at a local substance abuse centre to show them I am working on this issues I plan to re-engage with mental health and addictions services. I sometimes find reading helps if my focus isn't too bad. I sometimes discuss my thoughts with my fiance but I find that difficult she knows about the self harm as it's impossible to hide it as it is extensive.Calm and tranquility to you.

Sorry you haven't found any other helpful alternatives to the self harm, it is great you're able to talk to you're fiancé, the psychotherapy sounds like a good thing to try, although I've never really found that sort of thing helpful myself, but everybody is different, I really hope they accept you, and that it works for you, it's never easy to admit we have issues, so it's great that you're looking at addressing your substance abuse issues, I try not to read too much, as usually I don't have great concentration, and too much reading can reduce my concentration span to that of a gnat unfortunately, but if reading helps, perhaps this is something to consider, reading some psychology books, or books of self help for substance abuse, there are lots of books out there that I have found helpful, although it takes me a long time to read even one book because of my ADHD, in general I can't hide my self harm, but there are parts of my body I do use during sensitive times that can be kept covered just to keep it discreet, not to cause family or friends too much distress, however I am able through lots of practice, support and self determination, to not harm for a few months, to allow time for healing, if I really need to minimise visible cuts, I know not everybody who self harm are able to go even a few hours without.

*Wishing you lots of luck, peace, and tranquility*

Stumpy. x x x