Borderline personality disorder: Share your story!

I do xx

I do too.

Yes me too, there are a lot of people out there with this disorder, but there appears to be very little knowledge about the disorder, what actually defines the disorder, my psychiatrist never actually discussed why he feels I fit the ideals of this disorder, I don't know about treatments as I don't know what the target symptoms are.

I'm frustrated that they told me I have this disorder, but I do not know what is different about me, and what they feel I need to address, I will not go to a group that insists I forget about the past and concentrate on the future, with an emphasis on submission, I will not be submissive, my past affects the here and now, and the future, I refuse to forget about it, and allow myself to continue to be abused, this is like suggesting being abused is ok, and for me it's not.

I'm angry, I understand my ADHD what is involved, the target behaviours that are different to others, I also understand my autism, the target behaviours and how to manage these, but I still struggle to see what they are referring to when they talk about my BPD behaviours, what exactly are these, if I don't know what these are, and have no comparison I can not even begin to address these behaviours.

Does anyone else feel like this? I'm confused about what their seeing, if they cannot explain it to me, or show me a comparison.

I was diagnosed with BPD 15 years ago and still have difficulty understanding it and what makes me so different to others . Many times I cannot see what others see and people do not show or tell me what it is I am doing wrong instead just abandon me leaving me feeling hurt ad confused. There is alot online about BPD but it is still quite confusing and ca often be mistook for other things such as depression..I have been to the doctors many times to be told I am depressed and this is with a psychologist report stating what I actually have so it is very frustrating.

Although I don't have BPD , I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression but for me that is just a reference to my mindset/state. Sometimes it is easier to put actions/behaviour in to boxes; to give it an identity.

No 2 people are the same , hence being called an 'individual'. The patterns of behaviour may be similar but that is all.

Dawn, we are individuals ,so please don't feel/think that you are 'doing wrong'. Live your life to the best of your ability don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself by over analyzing things.

It is sad to read that you have felt abandoned but the flip side to that is would you really want these so called 'friends' in your life? In any type of mental health illness, you really do find out who are your real friends and those that don't really have your best interests at heart.

This group is the ideal place to be as it does offer advice from those with first hand experience but it also offers a place to reveal your thoughts/emotions without judgement ;only support /friendship.

Be happy within yourself , don't beat yourself up for someone else's problem. Let them be responsible in owning their actions. Don't make their problems/issues yours.

Accept the professional help available to you. 

Don't waste time trying to work out what you are doing 'wrong' ; flip it over and look at what you are doing for you; realize your positives and play to your strengths.

Take time to do something that will bring you pleasure and make you feel good about you.

Never allow other peoples actions drag you down.

Use this site for your own benefit as it really is a great group to be on, especially when you are self doubting.

Have a wonderful day.

Julie xx

Hello to everyone, hope you dont mind me dropping in like this but im mainly on here to try and understand and get advice or tips to help my son Daniel. Hes 24 and was diagnosed with boarder line personality the end of last summer. Our local doctor said it had alot to do with all the hurt and upset with illnesses,girl freinds etc through his life and its came back and hit him back in the face, due to not putting things to rest so to speak.

I noticed a change in his attitude towards alot of things were getting very negative, angry with everyone and anything, couldnt reason with him, thought people were laughing at him aswell as him talking to himself alot. Ive always had a very good relationship with him and my daughter but cant same the same for their dads. But this has really taken its toll on my son, daughter and myself. He got really angry with me just after xmas and got in my face shouting at me, at which time i was dealing with my new illness also of Fibromyalgia. Hes never done anything like this to me as ive always been his mum, carer and freind and i do feel as if im loosing all 3 with him. I dont want to say too much to him to put any pressure on him. But i have no idea how i can help him further to be able to give him all the support he needs. Ive always stressed about daniel since he got diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes in his early teens which hasent helped as we have still never been able to keep his sugars under control aswell as a few other illnesses hes got.

I live for my 2 kids as im the only 1 who understands them and knows what they need if and when they need it well apart from this personality disorder. I try alot to keep a smile on my face and think positive and on bad days for some i try and look for a good part out of that day so others can feel better about them selfes not what they cant do.

With my own Illness and trying to get to grips with That alone is trial and error, the only way i can describe my illness to others is its like being a diabetic where everything can affect you like heat,cold,stress, exercise,sleep,relationships etc but the only diffrence is i dont have to inject insulin but im in constant pain daily but not knowing which part of your body is going to be hurting you when you wake the next morning. Yes medications help to a point but they can only do so much as there is no cure for this at this time but im always hopefull.

Sometimes i dont think you yourselfes give you enough credit as you are all strong as you may not feel like it, but you all are in having to deal with these horrid illnesses that we all have been dealt. It is people like you that help us and eaxh other to cope everyday. I agree with the lady aboves comments saying not to put pressure on your selves and even im guilty of that too lol. I find people who suffer everyday cope better than the people who dont have any illnesses to deal with.

keep going be proud of who you are and what you have achived and try not to let people put you down. Thank you for listening to me ramble on :-) xxx

Life can be so hard and cruel Nanjack. We are our own worst enemies regarding telling others to 'look after themselves' when in fact we don't do it ourselves. It is sometimes easier to be there for others instead isn't it? 

We really do have to be gentle on ourselves first ;accept our positives and negatives but try and turn the negatives in to positives.

Small steps so that we don't become overwhelmed by our situations.

I am sorry to read about the struggles that you are facing with Daniel. We love our children so much and never want them to hurt. We are there to protect and shield them . Sadly, things are sometimes out of our control and all we can do is just be there for them ; I am sure Daniel does love you so much and appreciates all that you do for him; hopefully he will receive the help that he needs to help him to overcome his aliments .

Have you joined any groups that could support not only your son but yourself?

Are you a member of any associations/groups for you?

You need all the support available. It may be a case of you accessing it. 

Never ever apologize for joining in on this group; that it what we are all on here for; support, understanding and friendship. It is sad that more people don't join in as that is where the most benefit on a personal level comes in.

If just putting down how you are feeling/struggling on here helps you then go for it. It is better out than festering inside. Talking can be such a great stress reliever, or posting on this site.

Do something nice for you today; no matter how small. Please keep posting , don't go quiet.

Hope to read what sort of day you have had later.

Gentle hugs

Julie x

I suffer with this and feel times like cutting 

Hi richie87, I'm a self harmer and have been for many years, a lot of people seem to attribute cutting with BPD, however I've never considered mine part of BPD, but a coping strategy, maybe not a healthy one, but it's something I can control, and have the choice of, if or not, I feel that sharp sensation, or watch as the blood drips down, feel that pounding as the blood rushes, feel the quiet and psychological numbness after the cutting, these are mine to control.

Is there a reason you attribute the cutting to the BPD? has someone suggested it's because of the BPD?

Is this what their referring to when then mention my BPD behaviours, are they referring to my self harming behaviour?

I've always wondered what defines BPD, does anybody actually know?

I would say the majority of people in the world have a BPD, evident by the chaos happening everywhere. It is both a symptom and the cause. The difference with people who use forums like this is that they care.