New here.

Hi Woostal; Welcome to this group.  I sometimes think that Counsellor's have a set pattern to to follow; but I feel that unless they have first hand personal experience of what it is actually like to suffer with depression etc then they can't really grasp what it is truly like.

The reasons for our illness may differ, but in reality the emotions/thoughts etc are very much the same.

Please believe me when I say that your life can/will be wonderful; sadly it takes time . It is like grief which unfortunately has no expiry date. I say this from my own experience when I truly couldn't envisage my life ever changing from the dark, lonely, frightening tunnel with no light visible.

It has been such a long path to go down but I am now in a wonderful place in my life and you will be.

I too, had suicidal thoughts but for me that was the turning point; as it made me realize that I wasn't coping despite telling others but more importantly myself that I was. 

With the help of medication but more importantly a lot of self help on my behalf I am out of the tunnel.

Although the medication didn't make my issues/problems go away they helped to ease my frantic mind enabling me to focus on my issues.

Looking back ,talking was/is  the best tool as the more I about my issues the less impact they had on me; I could deal with them one by one.

This site is ideal as you receive support from people who have first hand experience and who understand totally what you are feeling/going through. 

The best advice is to talk on here as we don't have a budget or cut off point. 

There is nothing in your life that can be worth taking it for; believe me. It is your illness telling you that . 

I will always be here for you.

Be gentle on yourself and adopt the "Little by little, day by day" approach.

Gentle hugs

Julie x

Hi julie.

thanks for your nice words and support I find it very hard to talk about feelings and that because of my up bringing and things that happened.my therapist says I suffer from ptsd and bad depression.

My  new partner who was diagnosed with a terminal illness/ facing divorce due to his estranged wife's adultery/ not seeing his kids who turned to self medication [alcohol]. He had a break down and ended up in a psychiatric hospital twice .

He is of the same "upbringing" regarding the "real men don't cry or talk about things but just have to get on with it".

Thankfully, after hitting rock bottom he is on his way up but it has been anything but east trying to get him to open up and "really" talk.

Talking really will get you to no only where you need to be but more importantly where you "deserve to be"

The more you learn to talk/ write things down then the less impact whatever has happened in your past will have on you today.

It is about opening up, acknowledging ,accepting and embracing issues and if need be  letting them go. They have no right to bubble up any longer. It is about learning to take control again; doing things for you, no matter how small as you are the most important person to" you"

Despite what has happened previously, you are still here so that show that you are strong; although I bet that you feel anything but strong.

A friend sent me the following words; it is only now that I truly realize just how true they are and you will to..in time

And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure , in fact , whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in

I will always be here to chat [privately if you wish] .You can get through it but it is a case of a "Little by little, day by day " approach.

Please feel free to talk about anything;I will always be understanding /supportive as I really do understand how hard things are for you .

The clouds will lift revealing a wonderful sunshine/light. You are strong.

Gentle hugs.

Julie x

I can definitely relate to men don't cry and no touchy feelings stuff my parents beat that into me for 16 years and they psychically and mentally and my whole family cut me out of everything 

Hi Woodsta! 

I suffer from depression too. I spent a whole year trying all different kinds of medication and nothing seemed to work... I was in my penultimate school year.. My grades, my relationship with my friends and everything in my life seemed to be going down the drain... Thankfully, my mum was always here to support me as she's had to live through it her whole life and since her parents saw it as a "weakness" she only started treatment when she was 45 so her depression became chronic. One thing she always told me was that although medication does help, everything is up to us! And I know it's incredibly hard, inhumane and unbearable and I know it's easy to say it but believe me it WILL end!!! And there IS hope. After a year I started to get better... I am currently in my last school year and sometimes it gets really hard and it seems like everything is going to collapse all over again but I've developed strategies to help me deal with it. I think talking and sharing your feelings is crucial!! Not really sure if you're in to sports and I know we just feel like sleeping or killing ourselves but sports does help! I also want to emphasise how important it is to get a good night's sleep! 2 days sleeping badly is enough for me to have a crisis all over again! I found it really hard to ask for help at first because I thought nobody would understand me...and i didn't want to be a burden... But then I realised i was just shutting people away and becoming ever more distant... And I realised that people are here to help us!!! I know it's hard to ask for help but they are willing to help us and sometimes we just don't give them space to do so... But most importantly no matter how hard is believe in yourself and in the fact that you WILL get through this... And when this happens you're going to be a whole new (and in someways even better and definitely stronger) person. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc 

Watch this video!! I wish you all the best and please don't hesitate to come speak to me... Hope this helps..

All the best,

Cat❤️?

Hi cat. 

Thanks for your advice I definitely need all the help I can get I try to write down how I'm feeling when I can I'm currently doing group therapy once a week as well.my sleeping pattern is really bad I go from nothing to a little bit to sleep for days.ive tried talking to my family they just say man up stop being a bitch. And my family have barely anything to do with me now they say I'm being a anchor dragging them all down and until I stop doing a poor me they are done. 

Hey!

It's really hard when you can't get your family's support! My dad also wouldn't believe it! He'd say it was just normal sadness! But what's important is that you're undergoing treatment... Hope it's working. But I think most importantly of all you should set up a routine... Having a schedule helps a lot... And this could help with your sleeping patterns too! I know it's hard but you should try to set a time to go to bed and make sure you stick to it. Also, I know it's really annoying when people don't believe you but if it's hard for us to accept depression as a "real" problem imagine how hard it is for people who have never been through this to understand... Try not to get so mad at your family cus that will just make things worse... I hope they will understand it someday but maybe they never will because it's so abstract and so hard to understand.