My Boyfriend is pushing me away, because of his depression.

Thankyou for all your replies. They have helped me greatly. 

Again, he recently took a huge dip in his mental health and totally broke it up with me. I knew he was a mess. He had planned it and I got into my car to go to work and all my things that were at his parents house were in my car. I got very angry with him and told him I didn’t want him anyway. A few days later he phoned me in absolute histerics and had 2 panicked attacks. Of course I stayed on the phone to him and calmed him down until he fell asleep. He then started phoning me everyday saying that hearing my voice was soothing for him. We agreed he had to go to the doctor and try his best to stick at it this time. And he has. He is in medication and has finally started to open up to me, which is amazing. He hasn’t seen his child in about 2 months now as the mother has shut him off and won’t let him. I don’t soeak to him about it unless he brings it up. It’s very clear that she doesn’t want him to be in his sons life. I’m not sure what he wants to do but I will let him sort it out in his own time. 

He told me that the way he dealt with his relationship with me was very cowardly and told both me and his close friend that he should not have done it but wasn’t thinking straight. 

I finally think (touch wood) that he has turned a massive corner and the best part is I think he’s seeing how much of a rock I’ve been to him. He seems very grateful. 

On the other hand, I’m not giving my all to the relationship as I feel it has been so up and down that I have to protect myself. I’m letting him show me the effort he wants to give me. He knows I can’t go through anything like that again as I know it will have too much of an impact on my own mental health. 

I guess I know that we now have to take things slowly and back to the start as it were. Which isn’t a bad thing, at least we are improving. 

Fingers crossed we can now move forward.... obviously it’s not going to me roses everyday but the improvement that have been reached are definitely worth fighting for now 

@Kimarianatyson hello, I’m so sorry to hear of everything you’ve gone through. 

My advice to you is that you cannot force him to want you to help him. Try leave him alone for a bit but let him know that you are there for him. Remind him with a small message every day or so that you are there if and when he needs you. Take the pressure off him a bit as he can’t cope and trying to resolve anything when his brain is effectively mashed potato means that he can’t express what is going on in his head or make sense of it himself. 

Take the pressure off yourself aswell and don’t think of your relationship as having a label at the moment. Just be there for him. If he wants to speak to you make sure you just listen, don’t give him too much to listen to on his part. But always be there if he does reach out to you. 

most importantly keep yourself and you child happy. 

Good luck and keep in touch 

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