Lost

Hi just like me you sound very fearful and frightened, it took me 13 years with my counsellor before finally opening up, so please try, your counsellor is there to help you, and can help to protect you, if that is something you need, I know it's hard to trust when there is so much hurt, but if you read my profile, you'll know I'm coming from personal experience of hurt, and a lot of pain, and it's miraculous I can manage to trust anyone, but please don't be like me and stay living in fear, please try to open up to your counsellor sooner rather than later.

Things can be so much better with the right support, I know the feeling of loneliness, as I'm feeling it right now, but it will pass, you just have to keep staying positive :)

Hi Cruiser and welcome. Firstly let me assure you that despite what your ex tells you ;someone with depression ISN'T  selfish they are ill with something outside their control due to a chemical imbalance in their brain.

To attempt suicide or sadly succeed in achieving death then they are either; crying out for help or they are so mentally low that they can't see any way out to a better place/existence.

For those that haven't first hand experience of anxiety,depression or any form of mental illness then they have no right to criticize as they don't understand the impact it can have on any individual. As I have often stated ; the causes/reasons for our illness/issues may differ the emotions ,thoughts etc are the same.

Like you, I would tell concerned family/friends but more importantly myself that 'I was coping; I was fine' It was easier to do this as I found it so tiring /mentally draining saying how I was really feeling. I also didn't realize at that time just how ill I was; it is only now looking back that I realize that fact.

I was struggling in all aspects of life. I was in such a dark, lonely frightening ,painful place with no glimmer of light . I merely existed with the least input imaginable .

The turning point for me personally was when I had thoughts of walking in to traffic.

No, the medication didn't make my illness go away but they helped ease my frantic mind enabling me to focus on my issues.

Once you acknowledge, accept and embrace 100 % help whatever form that may be then that is when your journey of recovery will truly begin.

Medication along with an awful lot of self help will get you to a wonderful bright place in your life

Learning to open up was the hardest thing for me ; as I was always the one who people came to with their problems. From being a bubbly, chatty, outgoing ,confident person I became the complete opposite. Like you , my problems were down to my now ex. 

I was offered counselling but declined .I have/had a great support network but  I wasn't at the right time to open up. I also didn't want to worry my family friends any more than I already had.

This group is ideal as it proves that you aren't alone in what emotions you are experiencing; it really is all part and parcel of depression.

The other great thing is that you don't know anyone so it is easier to write down how you may be feeling. We all understand as we have first hand experience and so all you will receive is positive support.

Talk talk and talk some more; this really is the best tool for recovery/well being along with medication.

Sadly there are no short cuts as depression is like grief which has no expiry date.

What I can tell you that as my user name demonstrates; it gets better'. Yes, it is along hard path but you can/will do it. We are all here to support you as you travel along your way.

On being told how 'there really is a better life after depression ', I never believed it as i was in such a bad dark place....I was wrong not to believe as I am in a wonderful place and you will be also. 

It really is a case of being gentle on yourself, don't over analyze things.

Do things for 'you' no matter how small.

Concentrate on your breathing, especially in times of anxiety This helps you to focus on something other than your anxiety etc. I still do this to this day.

Once you acknowledge, accept and embrace 100% then this is when your healing/recovery truly starts getting you to a life that you deserve. Once out of the dark tunnel , you will never feel those feelings with as much intense emotions. 

Learning to trust is hard but as mentioned this group is ideal for releasing /channeling emotions/thoughts.

I am always here to support /chat /encourage you.

Always remember; little by little, day by day.

Be patient; you can get to a brighter better place both mentally and physically.

Talk, talk and talk some more.  The more that you talk then the less impact your illness will come to have on your well being.

Feel free to chat.

Once you have hit rock bottom ;there is only one way to go ....up and with a support and a lot of self help the skies the limit for you. Believe in yourself because you are the most important person to you.

Gentle hugs.

Julie x

Hi there. I really don't want to sound insensitive when I say this but whether you believe it or not you do have people around that can help you. As a sufferer myself sometimes I realise that there are people around me that care even if I can't see that. The pain that you are feeling now will only be passed onto another person from the loss of you. I've been there though wanting to end your own life because you can't find anything worth living for. But, you obviously need to speak to someone that can help you. Hopefully you being on this website will help you understand that you are not alone and that there are thousands of people that feel the same that you do. Always here if you need a chat. X