Living with social anxiety

Anxiety is a terrible thing I know. I've had bouts of it years ago. My hubby has it quite a lot (he was diagnosed with Bipolar) It can be hard for loved ones and friends to understand what you are going through. I worry all the time for no apparent reason and I get up tight myself  I got through my anxieties by reading this book 'Self Help For Your Nerves' by Dr Claire Weeks. It helps me a lot.

Have you seen your GP about the anxiety? he would prescribe something for it.

Best wishes

Astra!

Thanks for the reply! I may have to look into getting that book too :) Was that the only thing you did to overcome your anxiety or did you do other things too? 

I haven't been to a GP for a few reasons. First of all, because of the problem itself, I'm too anxious to go, especially as I'm expected to go on my own as I'm an adult now. I'm also not very good at articulating myself when talking; I'm fine when writing but that's because I have time to think about what to say. When talking I'm expected to respond straight away and if I don't because I have to think of what to say, it makes me even more anxious because I feel silly for not being able to answer when most people would have no trouble doing so. I'm also worried about being prescribed something at the moment, as I'm at university, in case it has a negative effect on me and prevents me from studying or at least not to my best ability.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply to me :)

Laura

Hello Laura...Well, my hubby was diagnosed with Manic Depression in 1972 (its called Bipolar now days) He was given this book I told you about and he didn't bother with it. I was dressed and anxious myself because of my own health and coping with hubby too among other daily issues and I didn't know whether I was coming or going half the time. I read the book and kept going back to it a few times and found it really helpful. I practiced what  the book said and after a couple of months I was able to calm myself down and cope more better with hubby, myself and other issues. Now days it just comes natural to me. I have been told now days that I am too laid back in situations, like  as if I don't care about anything, but that isn't the case, I do care about things, its just I cope better. Before I used to get in a state and full of nerves,cried a lot. And, when my own health played up Asthma ( Asthma I've had since I was 6 years old-1953. Ive had some really scary times and a Cardiac Arrest with one attack 1975 and been in hospital more times than I can remember ) or C.O.P.D. I've had a few bad times. When these illnesses crop up, I just go through the motions and relax and practice what the books says...much better than panicking like I used to do with severe Asthma Attacks.

You should go to the Dr's Laura. He will give you some help. Don't worry about being silly, just come out with it and tell him how you feel. Tell him your at Uni and he could give you something that won't upset your studies. No Harm in telling the GP. He is there to help you. Don't worry, your not the only person with depression he sees people with depression everyday and, your not the worst. Go to the Drs Laura. You must need some form of help or you wouldn't have posted on here. I know you feel embarrassed about mentioning this to the GP or where to start...don't be!

Another thing before I go. Find out what is making you feel the way you do. Family issues, boyfriends, friends, Uni, something said to you or what ever...and try to face the issue and maybe, things will sort themselves out. That's what I do. I just come out with things that are bothering me these days, please or offend others around me. And remember You are your own person and don't let anything or anyone put you down. Hold your head high and face what ever is worrying you. Depression can do strange things to people. Take a hold of it now Laura. I will be around here most days or you can leave me a message on my page.

Best Wishes and Take care.

Astra!

Hello, 

A lot of people get a lot out of doing a course of CBT. I didn't have to wait too long for mine....maybe 3 months. I had 6 weeks of 1 to 1 CBT with a really nice lady, and it really helped me.

The hardest part is the admitting things to the GP. If you can do that, you will force yourself to go through with the sessions. I knew I had to do it. I had no other choice. Social anxiety had taken the best part of my 42 years. I wasn't prepared to live another 42 like that.

Here's my story - condensed!

I was unwell, suicidal and hit rock bottom. I was at the GP for something else, ended up in tears, then blurted out how I felt! Highly embarassing! I filled out some paper work, and had the depression diagnosed there and then. I accepted the offer of antidepressants, as I knew it was my best bet to a recovery.

It wasn't until about 4 weeks of being on them, I was back at the GP giving her an update on their effects (zero!), that I actually forced myself to tell her 'how I was'. How I didn't go out or do anything. No friends. No social life etc etc....and how I was scared to do anything etc. She referred me, and I had a call about 2 weeks later from the mental health center.

I went through all of my 'major' issues with someone on the phone for at least 50 minutes. Then, I just waited for an appointment to come through the post..........

@ladysadie 

Hello Sadie...You sound like you've had a rough time of it. I hope the help your receiving is making you feel much better in yourself and hope it don't take too long to feel really well.

I know how it is not having a social life. I don't go out socially myself, and I have no friends either so, I know how you feel about all that. I hate to talk on the phone, I feel much better writing on the computer than talking to anyone face to face.  Sometimes I wonder if anyone knows I exist...lol.

Best wishes Astra!

@LauraS 

@Astra1547 

Hi Astra and Laura,

I should have mentioned that I was diagnosed in 2012 with the depression, then subsequent Social Anxiety (even though I'd self diagnosed it several years earlier, after stumbling across someone elses post online when searching for something different entirely.... 

I came off a/d's just over 5 weeks ago now, after tapering for about 7 months. So far so good. As for the social anxiety, this is the best I will probably be. I wouldn't say I'm cured. I can just do the normal things now that I couldn't manage before. I never would have thought this possible, nor did I think the CBT would help. 

Several months after having my course, I was contacted again to see if I wanted to attend a 'group' course. They knew I'd made some progress from the first course I attended, and thought that maybe this would help matters..... As it happened, I turned up! I don't know how, but I did. I was there with 2 other people, as one had already dropped out, and the other hadn't turned up. It really was an eye opener. Even though it turned out to be just 2 of us for the last 4 (out of 6) sessions!

So, today, I still have no social life. I'm separated now, and still have no friends, but I have a life, if you know what I mean. I even have a job. (Been self employed at home for the last 12 years, just so I could hide away from everyone and everything). I'm still self employed, but I now have a job outside of the home for 12-16 hours a week.

I urge anyone to seek help. It can get better. You do need to be very hard on yourself, and most of the CBT work is done by you challenging everything, but it does work. And for anyone thinking I can't have been that bad, just ask yourself why I was suicidal in the first place. Feel free to ask what it was like for me to exist from the age of 6 until 39 :)

For anyone with SA, you will know how extremely difficult it is to do something so simple as opening up the front door, or picking up the phone. Each 'thing' we cannot do is like a mountain to climb and you just don't know where to start....and when you can't do it, you punish yourself over it........

@ladysadie 

Hi, thank you for your post! It's good to hear that things can get better because sometimes I feel like I will never overcome SA. It gives me some hope to hear that it is possible :)