How do I cope with the emotional distress caused by a marriage breakdown

I have just returned to work on a phased return, to allow me to escape the home environment. Unfortunately I have found out that my marriage has fallen apart, with my wife having an affair.   This was the final stick in the spokes of the wheel for me, as I was already finding coping with her medical condition of ME exhausting and difficult.  I only ever saw the bad days and felt like the whipping boy.

Now I find it difficult to communicate to her and with others at work due to my emotions taking over.  I am constantly fighting the tears.  I am not a very social person with few good friends so am not looking forward to the festive break.  

I need to be able to identify a way to stay strong and not allow the anger inside to come out in a vindictive manner when we attempt to talk, it is hard and making me feel worse about myself as I no longer understand the feelings I have, love and hate appear to be so similar at the moment.  Gutted with no future is how I feel at the moment.