Depression that has arisen after losing a child.

Hi My Friend

THINK POSITIVE. Your daughter would want you to remember as she was, happy, smiley. 

I lost my wife to Ovarian Cancer she was 39, that was 21 years ago, Yes, it still hurts like hell. People say 'it get's better with time' B*****'s' You learn to live with it. Yes you'll go over things in your mind, but you realise in time that there was nothing you could have done that you hadn't already.

I've had 3 Heart Attacks (4 Stents),

I suffer from Ankylosing Spondilitis Arthritis affecting my whole body (it's like rock in a kettle building up on my joints),

I suffer from Osteoarthritis in my hands, feet and my lower back,

I'm Diabetic Type II,

High Blood Pressure,

Anaemic,

Sleep Apnoea (I wear a mask whilst sleeping to keep my airways open).

Recently diagnosed with Micro Vascular Angina, Deep seated veins in my heart.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in both wrists. Waiting for operations.

With all of my ailments I have to take a minimum of 43 tablets a DAY and a minimum of 6 Insulin injections a DAY. An EXTRA injection on a Friday, an EXTRA tablet on a Saturday, 4 EXTRA tablets on a Sunday and yet ANOTHER injection fortnightly on a Monday. I bloody rattle a good 'un lol...lol.

I won’t let the 'b******s beat me...lol...lol.

I sometimes wonder. Why do I carry on?? Simple... You only get ONE 'life' and you have to make the most of it. Adopt my attitude 'I won’t let the B******s beat me....

I'm sixty-three and have gone from a very active life as a 'Development Engineer' to I can hardly move some mornings, at my worst it can take my wife up to an hour and a half to get me out of bed, my strength has gone almost overnight...jam jars can be a right pain to open sometimes.

I've had an op. to 'release' my right shoulder (frozen shoulder) now I am waiting for the same op. on my left shoulder.

I could go on for a while longer yet but you see my friend we all have our problems but if you can share it with someone then believe me girl it helps an awful lot to make the day more bearable.

I've 'bored 'you with some of my problems so. If you feel 'comfortable' getting your own back? Please feel free to do so.

Look forward to chatting soon?

Cheers Richard

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother through a tragedy eight years ago. I felt numb. I didn’t know what to do, where to go, who to talk to. I was totally lost for a few years. My wife and my family have dragged me back in kicking and screaming. I cannot emphasise the importance of family in times like this. I also found solace in talking to a total stranger one of those dark days too. It was amazing just sitting pouring out my heart to this person , who I now consider a very dear friend. If you need someone just to speak to, I am more than happy to give you an ear to talk to. 

My panic attacks started when I was first diagnosed with being in a domestic violent marriage because I was scared of spiders my first husband thought it would be good to throw a rubber spider over the bathroom door when I was taking a bath at 8 months pregnant this brought on my panic attacks he was very violent to me I was kicked ,punched in the face ,after having my daughter he tried to climb on top of me I had just come out of hospital with having 57 stitches in side me the police was called and this brought on yet another panic attack ,now I suffer with PTSD, low moods, but this is because of everything I have been through sometimes I still get these especially if someone or something frightens me I get a tightness in my chest ,and I feel really depressed now I have been on amytriptyline but In my past I have been on lots of other medications I think I have tried them all