Depression and motivation

Hiya Hazel, Yes you do accept that you will have low days ;  everyone has low days.

Just try not to be over critical of yourself; be gentle.

Remember; little by little,day by day.

Try not to dwell in the self pity for too long.

Big hugs my lovely friend.

Julie x

Hi dear Hazel,

The lack of motivation is so familiar to me and I feel for you.  Do you have someone to talk to...a counsellor or someone objective yet compassionate who listens? 

I too have been, and still do go through SAD and depression a number of times in my life, sometimes thinking yes, there may be light at the end of the tunnel but my tunnel has a big bend in it!

A number of things, learned the hard way, have helped me personally; one of them being accepting invitations to go for meals, be with a family, watching a movie, etc, but I still couldn't cope with being in large groups of people - needed an end seat to be able to escape if necessary!  So often I really didn't want to but every time it worked, getting me out of my self-pity and lethargy. Instead of driving myself to church for example, I made myself ask a friend nearby to take me so that when the time came I couldn't back out. Once I got to the event I could cope bit by bit, taking myself out of the event or service when necessary. Sometimes going back and coping for another little time. As Julie says, little by little. Bit by bit. Whatever you do, don't punish and shame yourself for not being 'together' or 'strong'.  Yes, be gentle and non-condemnatory with yourself.

It's so easy to become house-bound in the darker months but it's vital to get outside for whatever amount of time, during the lighter hours. I never wanted to go outside, just to be 'cosy' but having a tiny garden or container plants that depends on you for survival - or a bird or animal - helps. Just having a walk in  some way. I even danced and sang in my living room and kitchen with familiar music when the weather was bad. 

In daily living it helped tremendously to laugh alone or with a friend, or watching, reading, listening to something funny. Reluctantly (because of lack of motivation) I'd find at the library a well known (but unseen by me) comedy and end up laughing out loud on my own, then wanting to watch it again.  

Find something you like on YouTube or facebook, like animals, nature, flowers, dogs, cats, whatever, and enjoy time getting a constant stream of that feeding your senses. There are loads of extremely funny videos of animals (for me it's dogs and cats) doing weird and hilarious things and I've found that a good laugh goes a long way. Watch them over and over. Or admiring the stunning beauty of roses, whatever you like.  For me it always works in picking me up during my down times. 

Do you have a hobby or outside interest?  Making cards, sewing, knitting and so on can help, while listening to radio or audio books. Then giving those completed projects away. Going with a friend to flower club or whatever, even if reluctantly. 

All this to say I understand because even motivating myself to do any of these things was hard work. I just wanted to escape, withdraw, hibernate, not initiate anything; lost my will-power.  Not cook or bake. Just sit, read, tv, radio, sleep, or snack on something nice. We're all different so perhaps this won't be helpful to you but I hope it does in even a little way. 

Finally and most importantly for me I could never survive without God to talk to. Though the bible is wonderful to read I lost the will to read it. So I would just get one verse and think about it. Or not. My church friends were and are my lifeline as I have no family. They didn't give up on me. Those who gave me 'cheap advice' or preached at me to pull myself together, never having been through it themselves, I avoided because it just made me feel guilty for not being strong like they were. God is always the one who never condemns but understands and loves me unconditionally, which is what I've always needed the most in these hard times.

If you are not a believer I suggest you look into it, but if not, you're free of course to ignore that part!

I sure hope you find yourself improving daily. Guard your thoughts and realise you're a lovable person, no matter what. Warm love to you.