Anxiety and depression

Hi Hintonn95. I have the self same scenario except in reverse. I am the 1 with anxiety abd depression(along witt PTSD). My latest partner and I have been together 14mths and I was open about my mental health issues from day 1. He didn't run away. I HATE the festive season for many reasons and find my mental health deteriorates in line with it. Anyway, my partner and I split up 2wks ago(at my sau so). I had felt I was stepping on egg shells constantly trying yo carry on as if nothing was wrong. This exploded epically 2wks ago(with my ending our relationship. We have agreed to remain friyends at this point and things are getting back to how we got on to start with. I know its not what my ex wants but it has definitely helped me. I know thiz sounds selfish but as daft as it sounds it helped. I write a whole stream of how I was feeling to my partner. Yes I explained it was nothing he had done and it is just the way my brain works. All I can tell u as someone with depression and anxiety what scares me is precisely what others perceive to be 'normal relationships'. Maybe you could ask your partner if this is how he sees things. Maybe if he finds it hard to express things verbally get him to write down what he wants to say. Then you read and re-read it to see if you can glean any further understanding. This may or may not help. I hope it does. Also althiugh im sure I dont have to say this but I will. Please do not lay blame on you or your partner as its neither of your faults. 

I have lost my job because anxiety runs my life ,, I meditation and watch my food and alcohol intake I do yoga Pilate's but however I do not feel I fit in with society ,,, I am very low and would appreciated any advice

Please 

@Hintonn95 your boy friend clearly has a serious illness of anxiety and depression and you need to be very mindful of this, as he may not be able to have a meaningful relationship because of his serious illness. I think you should take it easy as he is clearly indicating that he finds it hard to cope with life and that he thinks that he is just a burden on you. why not give matters a rest for a while; he is getting treatment I suppose in addition to medication and then see if he improves. You could be a mature friend to him without getting emotionally involved as he seems unable to cope with a meaningful relationship now; maybe in time he might improve but you need to get on with your own life and socialise with your friends etc.

Hey guys, 

So a lot has happened in the mean time. I had to make the decision to end us seeing each other. I felt I had no choice. He was withdrawing more away from me and wouldn't even meet me anymore. I have suggested options to help him and what I want willing to do to help him. But he didn't know what he wanted himself. 

I didn't want to leave him but I felt like my hands were tied.

Since end of November I have continuously non stop thought about him. If I made the right decision. Or if there was something else I could have done. I miss him so much.

He message me out of the blue today. Asking me how I was. We opened up a lot to each other. That I do miss him a lot but I'm confused about my feelings still. He too said he misses me. 

But the he confesses he has been talking/seeing someone else. Not going to like I felt hurt and even more confused as to why he messaged me. 

I don't know what to do as I feel even more torn. 

Sorry for babbling on x

@Hintonn95‍ Am sad to read your posts regarding your boyfriend's anxiety and depression. It sounds like he is very 'mixed up' with his feelings and doesn't appear to know what he wants in life. One minute he wants to talk to you, the next minute he doesn't. 

He misses you obviously from having had your constant support before, and also admits he has been talking to/seeing someone else. 

His depression sounds very serious, and I don't think he's ready for a serious relationship. 

Hoping you sort out your feelings and make the decision to go forward. 

I know it will seem hard but you just need to be patient and support him through the tough times. 

Your boyfriend needs you. Just like we all need someone. He doesnt want to talk. He just wants you to be with him cuddle up on the sofa and in bed. He wants you to make him feel worthy wanted needed and desired.

Stop asking him. Just as you girls dont want to talk he is the same.

You take control. Organise things to do that he likes n dont ask him what he likes you should know.

At this time of year sun defeciancy is a big part. Some vitamin D will help but a nice weekend in the sun with some romance will do him even more good.

Anxiety and depression are bourne from frustration and fear. Show him you eant him in everyway. I dont think i need to explain that on detail do I!

Warm hearty food. Fresh air. Fun. Laughter n love n care.

Promise you. A good woman made my life turn around. If he hasnt got a job get him to get involved in helping others. Homeless because they suffer depression and he can relate to them and them to him

Happy to help in anyway. Its a terrible thing x

 @lesmal 

Great advice NOT. Thats a typical selfish womans answer.

It makes me angry hearing your kind of comments. About as useful as a knee in the b****cks.

He needs her live. But as you appear to be heartless you wouldnt undetstand.

One thing is for sure. You dont understand men

@rikki2d2 tell me more.

See my other comments. In this link.

Are you a woman?

Get involved in anything. Volunteer

 Get out of the house.

Happy to talk more

@Hintonn95‍ I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I am in a similar position in that my boyfriend of 2.5 years has told me he can't take the pressure of a long term relationship anymore and he needs time and space to work on himself. I'm willing to give him the time and space he wants, but in the same breath I'm so scared to loose him. He has said that this will be time for us to work on getting stronger for one another, but I can't help but feel that if he moves out, he won't be back. I've never known love like this and I'm desperate not to loose him. Have you talked through things with your boyfriend? How have things progressed? Thank you for sharing and I really hope you're well.