Feeling terribly alone and having thoughts that I don't want to be here

I'm sorry things don't seem to be going so well, but really, try to look at this from a whole new perspective, they really could be a whole lot worse, Christmas can be a very difficult time, and has been a difficult time for me too, but try to think positively, your sister actually sounds like she loves you, and is afraid for your welfare, it sounds like your husband maybe abusive by what you say here, if he is, please consider breaking free, I've put up with abuse from my family all my life, so if your family truly care, I'm sure they'll be there for you if you really need them :)

You're not worthless everyone deserves love and happiness, you just need to reach out, there is lots of support out there, and we are here to listen if you feel you want to talk, or need any advice, I understand the feeling of not wanting to wake up, but please keep trying as you are worth it, no matter how bad you feel things are now, they can be so much better :)

It sounds like you are a bit conflicted. You seem to be able to see that your husband does not treat you perhaps as he should and yet you resent your sister's open dislike of him. You cannot expect her to like someone that she views is mistreating you. it is not easy when there is family conflict but I think you have to accept how your sister feels about your husband and that should lessen some of the stress you are under.

If your husband is mistreating you then this I would suggest needs to be addressed to and if it cannot be resolved then breaking up may be the best option here. His treatment of you cannot be helping with your feelings of worthlessness. You are not worthless.

Take care.