Suicidal thoughts, not coping, how to get treatment without carrying out my plans?

Hope that you had a good flight and you managed to cope and stay calm and focused.

Try not to let any negative thoughts swamp /overwhelm you whilst you are away.xx

Have a relaxing , chilled out time my lovely friend.

Remember to slap on the suncream.

Gentle hugs wrapped in love.

Julie 

Well I landed safely in Bangkok, now waiting in departures for my flight to Chiang Mai, although I feel very sick, a mix of 2 days dose of Ritalin in 1 day, plus being back on the higher dose of Beta Blockers, and my anxiety, along with turbulence from the flight, hope my sickness settles or I'm gonna have to see a doctor for an antiemetic, hope to enjoy once I'm there, been enjoying the company of most of my family, aunts, uncles & great aunts and uncles so far, so fingers crossed 

*Hugs wrapped with Love*

Stumpy. X 

I so far landed safe in Chiang Mai, but really hate it here, nothing here I like to drink 7/11's here don't appear to sell slurpees, red bull, lucozade or J2O's, not sure what someone who doesn't drink alcohol and usually relies on these kinds of drinks is supposed to do here 

Have had 2 rows with my parents already, and have taken 3 days Ritalin supply in just 2 days, I felt so sick on the aircraft, I couldn't sleep and couldn't cope but the severe dehydration has made me feel worse too, had my parents not been ignorant and helped me see a doctor at Bangkok Airport, I may not have taken the extra 3rd days supply, but all my dad was interested in was getting his earlier flight than mine to Chiang Mai, to go drink beer, and smoke fags, and then done nothing but criticise me when I refused to eat or drink anything, despite the dehydration and starting to get a rash xxx 

But I did have my Uncle Mike come and just hold me, and say "you're OK now ain't you?" As if referring to the fact that I now have his full support and that he knows about my dads abuseive behaviour towards me, which actually felt really nice, I am gonna try and stick this holiday out, despite feeling like I wanted to go home or leave already xxx 

*Much Hugs wrapped with Oodles of Love*

Stumpy. X 

I can't tell you how sad I am feeling for you. You probably don't feel it, but well done on not only getting on the plane but actually making it to your destination.

Try and remove yourself away from your dad's space; don't let him ruin your holiday; Out of sight , out of mind. This is also your holiday ,so don't let anyone ruin it for you; don't give them brain space.xx

Cast your mind back to your fab outlook ;stick with Nana Betty and get out and about. You don't need to be in your dad's/parents presence all the time.

Look upon the drinking as a new experience and try the local juices/fizzy stuff. It may be different but 'when in Rome,do what the Romans do'.

Wherever you go in the world apart from near by countries  then you won't find what we have .Don't become dehydrated as it really will ruin your holiday and I for one don't want that. Nor do you I am sure.x

You are going to have jet lag, listen to your body so take it easy and  give yourself time to acclimatize and adjust to the new surroundings.

Get hold of the control again; concentrate on your breathing to regain it. You know that you can/will do it. Get yourself down to the beach and relax; listen to the waves and empty your mind of all the chaos going on. You are there now so let it seep slowly in.

Everyone feels stressed  when traveling to somewhere new and so far away ;it is normal. I chat from experience as every time we went away I would tell myself 'never again' as the whole hassle of getting there .especially with 4 children was a total nightmare. This time is for you to relax and recharge your batteries. You have done so well and you need to focus on that.

You will hopefully feel totally different after a good sleep ,some food and lots of fluids.

Remove the negative thoughts about leaving already and be gentle on yourself; it is normal as you are tired and everything is totally new and alien to you.

Stumpy, Please try and adhere to your 'positive mind'set; this is your time so take the time to embrace the new culture and eat and drink. You are so important and so need to do all that you can to remain well both mentally and physically.

Hope that you have a restful sleep my lovely ,strong friend.

Gentle hugs wrapped around fluffy clouds.

Julie 

Well I had to go to the McCormick hospital in Chiang Mai this morning, was insanely ill this morning, turns out I got food poisoning from the food on the flight, so no wonder I've been feeling so grumpy and lousy 

I had to have an antiemetic drug injected in my butt, and I have a bundle of antibiotics, anti emetic tablets, loperamide, pain killers, antispasmodic drugs, and electrolyte saches 

So after sleeping most of the day, I'm finally starting to feel a little better, although still think it's gonna be a few days before I'm over it properly 

But at least then I can start enjoying my holiday 

Been out shopping this morning after the hospital, managed to buy some drinks I like, also had a few fresh fruit slushies at Big C Extra, supermarket, so have started enjoying 

*Hugs wrapped gently with Love*

Stumpy. X 

I've been to the Night Bazzar today, feeling a lot better, managed to eat 3 meals today, and had my first ride in a Took Took, hopefully take another Tylenol tonight, and if I sleep well tonight, maybe get up early in the morning, and get out in the pool 

*Hugs wrapped gently with Love and Sunshine 

Stumpy. X 

Not a great start to the holiday. I do hope that you are soon 'up + running' to full capacity.

I had some devastating news last night; my lovely mum has lymphoma [blood cancer] We are all devastated. She was supposed to have had more blood tests in December but she was 'lost in the system'. Telling my youngest son even though he is 21 was heartbreaking. He is the one who is still under the hospital after sustaining 2 bleeds on the brain. He is struggling as it is as his life has been changed already.

Just when things appear to be going well , it is snatched away..

Your last post sounds like you are getting 'your mojo' in to gear. You go girl.

We are just about to close the curtains ,blocking out the world ;light the log burner and pretend that everything is ok in our world.

Hugs my lovely friend.

Julie 

Awe so sorry for you're sad news, am just about to retire to bed, as it's midnight here now, I hope you're son finds strength and courage to deal with the news despite his health issues *hugs* 

Sending you strength and hope that things calm, the only thing I know to suggest is to take this time to spend with you're mum, for as long as possible xxx 

Hope the log burner is keeping you warm xx

*Hugs wrapped carefully and gently, warmly with a blanket, with oodles of Love*

Stumpy. X 

Uh oh, short lived haven't slept at all tonight, it's now gone 5am here, trapped wind, abdominal cramp, and nausea are beating me, think the antiemetic injection has worn off, and think I may need another, meaning yet another trip to hospital, and more money to shell out on medical treatment, am gonna give it a few hours and see if it settles, after my antibiotic and some breakfast, really hope it does, I feel lousy it's causing blurry vision and room spinning too xxx   

*Too sick for hugs right now *

Stumpy. X 

I do hope that since your last post that you are feeling a bit better. There is nothing worse than being ill away from home. Make sure that you drink plenty of bottled water.

Go easy on what you are eating and choose wisely. 

Hopefully you will soon be out and about in the lovely sun under shade.

Take care of yourself.

Julie with a love as always.