New here.

Unless you have suffered with depression it is really hard to understand what a dark ,frightening , lonely place it is. 

No one would willingly choose to suffer with any form of mental illness. If recovery was so easy and it was just a case of "man up and get on with it" then mental illness wouldn't exist.

Ignorance is bliss. 

You really need to look after yourself; there are plenty of people on here to support and hopefully you have friends who support you also 

Please continue doing what is right for you; talking and embracing all the help available. 

Don't be hard on yourself. You really can get through this horrible time in your life with a wonderful life ahead off you.

Little by little , day by day. 

As my user name states; it gets better and it really does.

Gentle hugs.

Julie x

I'm also suicidal depressed much of the time...an I feel your pain girl. Just joined this group an hope it can help me as life is so bleak on the middle of the nite when there's no one to talk to. Now I'm in the manic phase of my bipolar.....so up much of the nite...docs are useless. My care in the community team were closed down last October . Bloody conservative UK governmentand their austerity measures. Left me bereft.  Haven't got to see psychiatrist for 5 months.  Tried to sign myself into acute psych ward when so suicidal 2 months ago. No room. It's a ducking joke....been on waiting list for psychology for over a year...help..!

Thanks everyone for the advice just being able to talk on here has helped tremendously.i wish I knew about this forum before it's extremely helpful.

hi franthevet

the government are absolutely useless when it comes to people with mental health.they think of people as numbers not humans.ive also recently just joined this great forum it's helped a lot to be able to talk to people who have gone through or are going through what we are.i felt all alone until I started to talk on this forum.i waited for at least a year maybe a bit more to get the therapy I have now the only downside to the therapy is it's only a 3 year thing they said they don't do long term therapy so I'm really worried when it ends.its weird feeling when your with your partner or family or friends but you still feel lonely and alone. 

Hi Franthevet; This group has no budget or time scale to receive much needed support along with the fact that you can talk and talk and never be judged as we all have our own issues and so do understand the daily struggles we all face. 

Don't waste time worrying about therapy in the future as the future is a long way off and you will more than likely be on here giving advice/support to others as you have" made it to the light'. I speak from personal experience. I can remember someone saying to me that "in 5 years time I would be in such a good place". I didn't believe them but now I am over the worst time in my life I do believe it.

My new partner was diagnosed with a terminal illness which he struggled to accept and it soon followed his marriage break up. He turned to self medicating on alcohol. In time he ended up in hospital as he was suicidal . He too was offered counselling but was informed of the horrendous waiting list. He is of the upbringing to "get on with it as real men don't cry or discuss their feelings"

Thank goodness, he has now started to open up and talk ,something he says that he couldn't even do with his ex. It has helped him that I have been through a marriage of 30 years breaking up due to his adultery. He was also diagnosed as being "psychotic + delusional" Sadly despite our support he wouldn't embrace the help and so he has lost everything that he once held so precious.

Talking really is the best tool available as I am a believer that the more you are open and honest with yourself especially then the less impact your "issues" will have on you.

I can completely understand that you can be surrounded by friends/family or even strangers and yet feel completely alone; all part and parcel of depression.

Always here to chat/support/encourage.

Gentle hugs.

Julie x

Writing everything down definitely helps and I'm now slowly trying to open up about my feelings in my therapy and this forum has helped feel that I'm not so alone.begore I found this forum I felt that I was alone and had nobody I tried talking to my missess but she got all stressed and then my family cut me off completely when I turned to them and my therapy doesn't always help but most of the time it does. 

It is hard to open up when you are not particularly comfortable doing it or feel too low/isolated . Once you start opening up, then you will recognize how important for your own well being/healing it is. Your "issues" won't have the same impact on your inner thoughts that it does as you will be addressing them and working through them. You can do it, just believe and have the confidence to do it; you are on here to be supported not judged.

I have been on both sides of the fence so to speak and so I do have that insight although it can be hard at times.

You are certainly not alone in what you may be experiencing and that is so apparent on this group; the cause of our illness may be different but the emotions/ thoughts/actions are the same.

it is sad that your family have chosen to cut you off, but I do hope that they soon realize that you need support as no one chooses depression etc. It is hard not to be able to see the bigger picture when someone very close is suffering ; we all want a time limit as to when the tunnel is going to get brighter and we are going to get better /our loved ones will "return " mentally. Sadly, there is no time limit and we all have to be patient and work hard for our healing.

Accepting that  it will be a slow process  but please believe me ;you will get to that brighter place mentally  and you will be in a wonderful place in your life.  Yes, you may have low days but who doesn't? No one is happy 24/7.

In time, you will realize how ill you were but you will never feel those raw emotions ever again; you will just remember life being totally different .

Believe it, be gentle on yourself as you are so precious to your loved ones.

You will have lots of down time as opposed to highs but in time the good days will outdo the bad/low ones. Adopting  the 2 steps forward , 3 steps back attitude will help .

Take time out for "you'.  You are the most important person here so love yourself as I am sure your family /friends love you.

Here for you if you wish to private message me if it helps?

Have a gentle Sunday.

Julie x

Hi There im new here, i have had mental health issues for quite some time due to certain thins thats happened in my life, plus atm my relationship is breaking down and i dont know which way to turn 

Hi  hellkitty and welcome . My advice here + now is to take things "little by little ,day by day'. My marriage of 30 years broke up +I was heartbroken as we were soulmates. I completely understand how overwhelmed you may be feeling ; not knowing what to do or which way to turn. You need to slow your mind down. 

I was diagnosed with anxiety depression and at the time couldn't see anything beyond the painful, dark, frightening tunnel of depression. I had no future in my eyes. 

With medication along with a lot of self help , I am in a wonderful place in my life and you will be again; it just takes time.

My mind was frantic but with medication it eased enabling me to cope with my issues.

Talk, talk and talk some more; this is the ideal place to do it as we all understand and never judge all due to our own personal journey's.  The reason's for our illness may differ but believe me you are not alone with all the emotions/thoughts/feelings.

Here to chat/support/encourage you.

You will get through this painful period and in time will look back and although you will realize that you were ill , you will never feel those raw, dark emotions with the same intensity again.

big hugs

Julie x

Hi  julie. 

Thanks for your very nice words my confidence is next to nothing atm.it feels like everything is going from bad to worse.snd what ever i do seems to go wrong.i don't know if things between me and my family will ever get better theres lots of issues between us and they never acknowledge they are wrong.i spent 4 months away from them with no contact at all then I decided to try and sort things out with them and they didn't care that 4 months had gone by and still said I'm the one at fault and I need to stop being a spass and man up the worlds a bad horrible place just accept it and stop being a bitch.that was last Friday.since finding this forum combined with my therapy and writing everything down it feels like things are changing in a good way I hope it doesn't go wrong like before things went ok then got 10x worse.

hi hellkitty 

its horrible having mental health issues it feels like no one cares/understands and your all alone that's how I felt for a long time.but this forum really helped me and writing everything down helps.i thought no one cared or knew how it felt to be so low then I found this forum.now I have this forum and write down my feelings and my therapy things slowly feel like it may be changing.

Woodstall, Due to you present mindset; you probably do feel like everything is going against you, when in fact if you were in a better place mentally you wouldn't have those thoughts. Logic rational thoughts tend to fly out of the window . I know because looking back that was me and other sufferers.

All around me, everyone was getting on with their daily lives but a I would think "what about me; why haven't you asked me out etc" but in reality , I would turn any invitation down. I felt that no one was bothered/interested in me or what I was going through. How selfish is that ? I now understand that it is part of depression.

As you travel on your path , your confidence WILL return along with a massive boost to your self esteem as it takes a hugs battering. I would purposely change direction rather than talk to 'friend' /neighbours. I just couldn't be bothered.

Coming on this site, you soon realize that you are not alone in what you are feeling etc. 

Reading the attitude/comments from your family, i take it that none of them have first hand experience of mental illness;ie depression. Unless you have been in that dark, lonely ,frightening place you will never know/understand it. Ignorance is bliss.

It is brilliant that you feel that you are now turning a corner; we all worry at some time when on our journey of reaching a better place mentally  that we will return ; but you won't. It is also a natural thought.

In time , you will recognize that cloud floating around and you will act up on it. Please believe me when I tell you that ; yes, you may have low days; who doesn't? but you will never ever feel those intense feelings/emotions that you did when you were in what will be the darkest time of your life.

Carry on chatting on here, 

Little by little, day by day.

Gentle hugs

Julie x