Depression
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Hi, I'm new to the site. I've suffered from depression for the last 5 years and never been in a proper relationship during, until last September. I've know this man for almost 9 years, and he is now my fiancée. He knows about my condition, and can be supportive, although there are times when it affects our relationship, like now. We are currently taking a break from each other for a few weeks. I have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday, hoping to actually find a proper counsellor to talk to face to face. I've never been as happy as when I'm with him, but things that have gone on with me in the past come back to haunt me and resurface when I've had a drink. I'm not an alcoholic, but know that it's a dangerous game to play, especially when on meds. When I'm sober, things are good with us, although I can't help but think there is underlying tension, and he's not being completely honest about how he feels. 
Joined in 2015
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I've suffered anxiety and bouts of depression, never taken medication, I find exercise and employment does help, as well as healthy eating. Alcohol was a big problem and I used to smoke, due to a hard childhood, mother leaving my father, I was 14 and many other bouts of bad luck. I've suffered angina also, I seem to cope better at 54 years of age, but the depression comes and goes. I feel tired and lazy, I burn out and over think, I had a bad bout last year. The reaction of people, even Doctors, isn't always encouraging, I won't take medication because of the negative factor. Depression causes mood swings and behavioural problems, I used to get in a lot of trouble with the law. I think I'm coping better in my older life by using many forms of advice and activities that release endorphins. I'm 55 this year so still alive and kicking, I have committed self harm in the past, but not for a while now. life does become hard sometimes and it's very difficult to battle being down, but we only get one life and helping others can keep us alive and focused. I get great satisfaction helping others and achieving something worthwhile in life, I can't relate to people taking their own life, because they must of found life unbearable to carry on. Those people who are suicidal are the people I want to help and make them realise they have something to give.