depression

hello, I have over the years become more and more reclusive. I live with my family but apart from online activity I have become useless I need encouragement to do even the simplest of tasks. I go to art group at my nearest mental health facility once a week for an hour and half but apart from that I rarely leave the house, or rarely leave this corner in which I am sat right now.

My spiritual beliefs say that I would come back as a ghost if I killed myself so I just rot waiting for death.

I don't even know why I am telling this, what good will come?

Anyway I am a 50yr old man. my 3 children have all grown up and are doing their own thing. I am taking antidepressants for many years and I feel much the same day in day out, everything is pointless! 

Hi @zebedee - well a goo first step is what you just did, coming on this site and expressing your problems and beliefs.  So this is where you are at the moment - art group is good, it means you are not totally isolating yourself; small steps, don't aim too high, but maybe consider setting a goal, just a small one for a start.  What did you like doing before this took hold?  What were your interests or hobbies?  Maybe consider deciding on one thing you would like to do, if it is only going to a shop, or a walk in a park, or even sitting in the garden - just a small goal, then try a little each day to get towards that.  Don't set huge goals so you push yourself too hard, don't be disappointed if some days you don't take any steps forward, just small steps and congratulate yourself each time you take a step in the right direction.

Just an idea, but might give you something to concentrate on and give you something to interest you.

yea thanks, good advice but small steps haven't worked for me so far, I am an all or nothing type person! I am going to india next month to throw myself into the hands of my gurus sincere followers to try and make some progress on my spiritual path which when working is the only thing that gives me hope.

I am an x- hare Krishna devotee and material life is not an option for me therefore I am dependent on the mercy of my preceptors who may be able to inject me with some enthusiasm and purpose. I am finding it very hard to follow sincerely my chosen path in this environment I am just too weak by my self, so if you have any sway with the lord please pray that I become fixed in my determination toward spiritual life so that I can find reason to live again!

thank you

Good Luck @zebedee - hope the trip goes well.  I will send it out to the Universe that you find your direction.

Thanks for this Daren. My change from paroxetine to fluoxetine has been so recent and so devastating, I'm not ready to undertake any further changes, even though other combinations might be more suitable for me. 

I do feel better when I undertake more activity, and so I intend to work more, and be more active.

Thanks again and take care

Claire

@twmc95 , Activity is the best medicine there is ... better than therapy , better than pills , I wish I could start training again .... as soon as i get my issues manageable I am going to do what I can do ..... I didn't get on with Paroxetine either . Best wishes Claire

Daren x

That's the problem isn't it @xDarenx - we have issues that would be better with exercise, but other conditions prevent us doing the exercise we need - vicious circle really.

Daren I'm so sorry, sent private message, thought it wasn't sending, so pressed it loads of times, and have sent lots of the same message in error. Hope u r able to delete them all. Still learning how this site works!

@twmc95  , don't be silly ... i am not at all bothered ... it was only a mistake , but thank you for the kind message :)

Daren

Well, my doctor has now changed my depression medication to Fluxoetine instead of Sertaline. I've only been taking it since last Wednesday but again, I don't currently feel like it's making any difference. The reason that my doctor changed my meds is because I was considering suicide and I know that my husband has already lost two friends to that. I've to go back and see her again in about two weeks time to see how I'm getting on with the Fluxoetine.