Depression.

Good morning Jessica

Thanks for your article 👍. I to struggle with depression and just. Want to be left alone at times which I know is not good for me or my partner as I just want to.sleep and not wake up

Depression is not a very nice word. Being a fun loving man I never thought that I would never be left with this word hanging over me in later life. Having anxious thoughts and vibes of suicide, depression to me is the frame work that keeps me targeted to be as what I call my normal. I go nowhere except to drive my wife to and from work, in town I stay at 30mph, only doing 40mph on a dual carriageway that's allowed. I do this to be safe, as it means I am able to safely to avert accidents which could have happened because of bad drivers. Having a key and card meters I do need to go to feed the meters, so a trip to the post office I have to go. All other times I am with the wife. I have used key and card for my electric and gas most of my adult life, so I have never had any bills to pay. I had a smart meter with SSE, but now I am with British Gas I am back with the usual meter though they want me to have a smart meter, but I am happy the way I am. Losing the £200 winter fuel allowance will mean little heating this winter, which I have done most years anyway as I can dictate as to what I put on the meter. Funny really but £30 a fortnight when I get my pension still goes a long way. Gas we only use for hot water so £20 lasts a couple of months. I keep getting letters from British Gas if I am ok as I don't top up the gas regularly. My wife is a care worker in a nursing home and my unpaid care giver. I am happy in my own little world as I have very little contact with the outside and this helps to keep my depression and anxieties between my wife and I so are easily being cared for. Well this is my life now after covid and the lockdown we had, I suppose I enjoyed the time of peace being closed in and just decided to continue with it. PG