Childhood Sexual Abuse, and Sexual Favours

The crying approach appears to be something used quite regularly, in drug and alcohol counselling situations, as when I lived in the next county, my counsellor there also took the outward crying emotional approach, when I first revealed the abuse by the guy down the street, crying in sympathy with others is easy, and something I often do myself, if someone shares an emotion provoking exchange with me 

I think there are also a few professional mourners around here, but they are just guys who go to almost every funeral, if or not they knew the person who's died, or not, really quite funny 

I'm sure you'd be excellent at the crying/emotional approach, I despise being on board ferry, not because of the water, but because of engine vibration, it makes me feel so sick, although drinking aniseed helps and tastes good too  Although I don't drink now and I'm not sure there is such a thing as non alcoholic Pernod  

I'm fine on a train if I'm with a friend to provide a distraction, but struggle a lot with the trauma when alone, my friend Katie's mum was a severely abusive alcoholic, and Katie couldn't cope with life, I tried my best to comfort her, but it just wasn't enough, the trauma of seeing her go, wasn't actually as bad as I imagined, as it happens so fast, and she was swept away so fast by the train, that there was not actually a lot to see, although the blood spraying back towards me, was distressing, I'm not squeamish, hence it is one way I have often myself considered to take my own life, when at my lowest times of my life

There were 5 staff members in the train carriage that day when I was distressed, and every one of them ignored me, the only way I managed to get off the train, was with the help of the guy behind the bar on the train who saw me struggling to get the door open, and saw me in distress, he had to put his arm out the window of the train and open the door from the outside, being as the group of 5 staff members were too busy talking amongst themselves to help their passengers, that's a regular occurrence on the train here, unfortunately, hence I tend to avoid the train if not in company, opting for the bus, that takes a lot longer 

Ooh warm logs on the fire, I can create a log burning like light effect without the need for fire, something I learnt from the theatre lighting tech, I love lights because of my autism, and hope one day to work as a lighting tech myself, I love climbing the lighting ladder, although I'm not supposed to because of health and safety, I have been allowed to give it a go on a few occasions, the theatre and working as back stage crew is my escape from life/reality, without drugs, and I'm respected there, despite my background and previous drug use, something not everywhere are quite so accepting of, I'm relaxed at the theatre too, the fast pace keeps me on my toes, too busy to feel any negative feelings

*Lots of Warm Hugs, Wrapped in Fluffy Cloud Like Blankets*

Stumpy. xXx