Fed ⤴ up

What do you mean, did I miss something? 

Do you mean overthinking too much and worry too much?  Or I miss understood ?

So Paul explain your thought, to see if anyone can help! 

Anyone have Dyslexia? If I hear anyone say that it's a gift what a joke;-@

Hey Paula,

Sorry your having a hard time, I too have times where I have been so fed up with it all, with multiple medical issues and no new medical answers, which means no medical help.

I have also had times when I knew the answers and that didn't help much either, I lost everything at one point, my womanhood, my mobility, my career and almost my family, and most defiantly my self respect and will to go on because I believed I wasn't good enough to have them, I was half a woman, there for I must be half a wife and half a mother, I started to focus on all the things that I couldn't do, and took for granted the little things that I could, this has been a long journey for me but I am now able to see that the battle was worth it, for although I felt like a failure, I also failed to give up.

No matter what problems have been thrown at me, and I have had a few very close calls, but I have not given up, but taken time to step back recoup my energy and try again even if it has taken months.

Its where my memory problems and brain fog come in handy, I used to get irritated and very angry for not being able to remember even the basic thing, but now I use my lists and  figure if it was that important it would have made it on to the list, I read still , but no sooner have I put the book down I have forgotten the story and even the characters names, my spelling is appalling, and I often drop random words in to conversations when talking without even noticing until after often when the look on someone's face changes.

You are stronger than you think, just for the fact that you have joined here, tell me that, I believe in you all, for you are looking for the help and support that you need, and we are all here to offer that to each other, even if it is just an ear to listen.

Knowing that a complete stranger is willing to listen gives me hope, they are not obligated, they care because they too have a similar pain and together we can make a difference.

Please get back to us.

love light and peace

Storm

Hi Storm that reply was for me yes I usually get called Paula at weekends...ha ha...only kidding. I have really got to a point in life where it's safe and less stressful just to stay in bed or in the house...im not under the microscope I'm not put on the spot when I don't know the answer etc...I've been brought up to being a recluse really I don't know how to socialise im virtually a 12 year old in a 38 year old body. When my mam passed away at 12-13 life changed and here is the outcome.

I do contemplate taking my life I just want to go peacefully

Xxxx

We can never kill ourselves peacefully and that's a fact, So look at a better plan..:)

Hey Paula, sorry your stuck with that name from me now on. ( no offence intended)

I am sorry about your loss , its not easy at any age let alone as an adolescent, life is confusing enough at that age for anyone, not knowing where we fit it, people don't always especially then, recognise how children grieve, and the impact of loss it has on them.

I can only imagine what your journey, but what I do know is this is a good place to start coming out of your shell, and the good thing is we are all in a similar boat.

Don't ever fear what others think, the only persons opinion that matters is yours, in my view, it is better to take baby steps and gets some were slow than be full speed ahead and get nowhere fast.

I am at the point of I don't want to be Ill anymore, physically, mentally or emotionally..... my problem is I am still not sure what I want instead, I have been stuck in this pattern for so long, of not allowing myself to connect with anyone in the real world, it is easier to hid the pain behind a Keyboard to those you know and love, but it is also easier to open up to a complete stranger.

I believe we all have it in us, once we discover our own motivation to move forward to a better place of understanding, it is not an easy journey, but it is a journey we also do not have to make totally alone.

You are stronger than you think, and I admire you for all you have been through

love light and peace

Storm

Hi Paula, lol I live very much like you but have learnt to try and build a new life with support around me plus also a life around my obstacles ( Issues ) and it's working for me. Also Like Stormy says or is that "John" lol

Best advice ever Don't ever fear what others think, the only persons opinion that matters is yours....

Hi LeeBee thanks for advice its the support network that I get ticked off with I only have my fiancee, supposed 'family' are like just get on with it and toughen up 'total ignorance' or my dad is like do you want a cup of tea thats his way:-@ he doesnt know how to react like me:-@So you can imagine that at times when fiancee says 'are you ok' I dont like telling the truth all the time:-@. My new job is making me ill my learning difficulties are affecting me I work in tiling so measurements, colours, names of tiles, what adhesives and grouts are best etc...ITS TO OVERWHELMING:-@