Epilepsy and intimacy: What works for you and your partner?

@Rhinoriggs , I too have struggled with intimacy leading to sex. I can cuddle and be intimate in a non sexual way but past 5 years my libido has diminished and I have struggled to have intercourse at all. The epilepsy medicine I take (Epilim and Clobazam) are mentioned in the leaflet as affecting libido. I have been prescribed Sildenafil 5 years as a normal treatment along my epilepsy meds but I don't have the confidence anymore to initiate intercourse. When I try my wife is tired so it puts me off. I have told her about it and she has no problems me trying the tablets but it is no use as planning to take a tablet with the intention of having intercourse after foreplay no longer comes easily as when I was in my 20s and early 30s. I'm 44 now and feel I could be celibate forever.

@Sunshine5

There is no right or wrong when it comes to intimacy. Some people feel shattered some days and better on others.

Have you thought about a relaxing retreat so you are both calmer in a quiet atmosphere? Low lighting, candles and a gentle massage? It can work wonders for overstimulated situations and help to reconnect you both.

Im also in my 40's but my drive hasnt diminished - in fact i do require more 'sexy time' even if it doesnt involve intercourse.

@Rhinoriggs

I struggle to have the intercourse as my libido high but it's not resipicated so I cant have sex.

I found to make it more calmer and gently done as it's fun is toys for both that way any thought of stress is changed over how to use and how to please.

I just have to watch my partner enjoy it as tablets make it slow for me unless I can be like a super human, so all I need is someone close by and able to go at 80 to the dozen and a couple times or so don't suppose you know of anyone lol

@Rhinoriggs

My other half thinks it's because I want to see other people and have extra but trying to explain my meds and my epilepsy can make my libido even more worse she thinks is a excuse.

So it's about 8 years since I've had intercourse and it's so frustrating, I can please her her before I've even got anywhere, even a cuddle makes me happy in the heart but that's life.

@Fingers21 , I spoke to my Pharmacist about it and he suggested talking to my wife. I did explain to her that I receive a regular prescription monthly of Sildenafil but I I been apprehensive to use it in case it doesn't work.

She said to try it last weekend, but then she was sat in the lounge until 2pm when I wanted to go to bed and relax and do it slowly. In the end I couldn't be bothered.

I tried the following evening asked her "why don't we play tonight"? She said she doesn't want to because she had back pain.

Then a few days ago, she got annoyed with me about something and said to me " You want to have sex with me (with her) but I haven't built our relationship". I'm really thinking, should I even bother at all? And just accept living as married roommates without sex for the rest of our lives.

What caused her mood change was partly my fault. She got home after a busy afternoon going to shops etc and returned home for tea. I was struggling to print out something, so she told me Is it that urgent? And if I asked her I need help when she gets a moment, she would not refuse. I did say it's something I overlooked but have not been making the same mistake as often as I did last year.

I think my sex life is doomed, and my bl**dy epilepsy drugs are also to blame. And unfortunately I've tried every drug available including brain surgery.