Depression

Hi ,Just read your post and was wondering how you are feeling ?

Depression really is so hard and only those who have first hand experience can understand. I too struggled to motivate myself to do anything.

I too have a dog and she was my best friend during my darkest days. She always sensed when I struggling and would come to me. I truly believe that they understand us, sometimes better than we understand ourselves. 

Life is a struggle but it i worth it. I do hope that things are improving for you. I would love to have an update.

Big hugs x

Hi just wanted to say your not alone, i actually am having trouble with spending (alittle different i know), this is not my normal self, i have had depression before but not this bad, i have really wanted to just kill myself but i have taken a step back and thought nope not going to let this horrible illness win.

I got paid ESA 2 days ago around 200 pounds right, in on day (though sales shopping i thought this makes spending ok) I only had 10 pounds left :/

I am on council housing waiting list (my family dont know yet as its a senstive area i still live at home with my parents, they were awesome when i was 4 years ago sectioned but this time not really good) My ex bf left me and alot of my friends have left me . 

I cannot tell you how much it hurts to be alive nowadays but i carry on :) Keeping busy doing things i love helps :) 

Spending, drinking ,drugs ,comfort eating etc are like a release valve; sadly short lived as you come down from the buzz.

I would say that all of us suffering from depression have done the above and then regretted it when the damage has been done. You are spot on with your comment Haze; that you are not going to let this illness win. That is the attitude that will get you through ; hard as it will be. 2 steps forward ,3 steps back will become a well felt emotion.

Haze, if certain "friends" have left you then deep down they weren't true friends. I found out who my true friends were; some just wanted to pretend to be interested when in fact all they really wanted to do was gossip. I chose to divulge my darkest days with only a very select few. When you feel really down and someone shows an interest thus lulling you into a false sense of security for want of a better word, you open up and get it off your chest. Some of your "friends" may even judge you; their problem not yours as you don't need to be judged by others; you judging yourself is more than enough.

Following all my problems which included 30 + years of totally trusting my now ex to support us financially in old age [he was totally in control financially ;I gave up work to raise our family , returning to work p/time as they went to high school but not in the professional capacity that I was when we first married.] I was panic stricken about not managing to cope with everything financially.I would spend as little as possible for fear of losing everything. In time I went the other way but thank God I didn't go OTT. I would buy things that I didn't need and then feel panicky later.

Food; I would comfort eat previously but during the split I would feel that ill/sick that I didn't eat. The rapid weight loss made me feel good which would spur me on to lose more. Looking back it was the only thing that I could control. I am now facing a different kind of stress with my partner who is severely depressed due to terminal illness, alcoholism, break up of his marriage etc. hence I am comforting eating and so face that daily cycle yet again .

We all have our own journeys containing many struggles/hurdles  to make in life ,trying to remain strong will get you through this bumpy ride.

Big hugs. 

Well everyone knows where i am if they need to chat :) Ta for your awesome words and advice as normal :)