Anger: An essential emotion you can learn to control

What is anger?

Anger is an intense and temporary emotional state caused by feelings of aggression or annoyance, often leading to strong reactions and aggressive behaviour. It is a natural emotion, characterized by dissatisfaction, frustration, or irritation, and is one of our core emotions like fear, sadness, or joy. Anger usually arises in response to a perceived threat, injustice, or violation of our expectations and values.

Physiologically, anger can lead to increased heart rate, blood pressure, and adrenaline levels, preparing the body for a fight-or-flight response.

Anger can take different forms. Constructive anger is used to solve problems, while destructive anger can lead to aggressive and harmful behaviours. Hot anger is an immediate, instinctive reaction, while cold anger is more calculated and controlled, resulting from accumulated resentments. Finally, passive anger is often expressed indirectly, through passive-aggressive behaviours.

The causes of anger can include stress and pressure, injustices, frustration, threats, past traumas, and unmet expectations. Communication problems, a chaotic environment, physical and mental health issues, and social and cultural influences also play a significant role.

Understanding these factors helps identify triggers and develop effective strategies to manage and mitigate anger.

What are the disadvantages of anger?

Although anger can sometimes motivate action against injustices, it typically presents more disadvantages than advantages when not controlled.

Individuals who frequently experience bouts of anger or who react with anger to displeasing events make those around them suffer and suffer themselves from the fear they instil in others.

The main disadvantages include:

• Strained relationships: Uncontrolled anger can damage personal and professional relationships.
• Impact on mental and physical health: Frequent and intense anger can lead to mental health issues such as stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as physical health issues like hypertension and heart disease.
• Impaired decision-making: Anger can impair our ability to think clearly and make rational decisions.
• Destructive behaviour: Outbursts of anger can lead to impulsive and aggressive behaviours, creating conflictual and dangerous situations.

Can anger have benefits?

Often perceived negatively, anger can nevertheless serve as a driver of action when well-managed. It can:

• Motivate action: Anger can push us to correct injustices and bring about positive changes.
• Strengthen personal boundaries: It helps identify and defend our values and limits.
• Promote communication: Expressing anger constructively can improve communication and resolve conflicts.
• Stimulate creativity: Channelling anger into creative energy can lead to innovative solutions and artistic expression.

Thus, even emotions classified as “negative” can be useful if we know how to manage them.

How to better manage anger?

There are many techniques for managing anger. One of them is the STOP method. It helps interrupt the cycle of anger and react more calmly and thoughtfully. It means:

S = Stop, as in stop before it’s too late.

T = Take a Time-out to breathe deeply.

O = Observe the situation, identify your thoughts, emotions, etc.

P = Ponder a more appropriate reaction once calm.

Here are our tips for managing anger:

Understand your anger triggers

Identify situations, people, or events that provoke anger. Keep an emotion journal to spot patterns and anticipate triggers.

Practice breathing techniques

Deep and slow breathing can help calm the body and mind. Try taking deep breaths through your nose, holding your breath for a few seconds, then slowly exhaling through your mouth.

Adopt mindfulness meditation

Meditation and mindfulness help stay grounded in the present and observe emotions without judgment. Dedicate a few minutes each day to meditation to develop a calmer and more balanced attitude towards stressful situations.

Express your feelings constructively

Communicate your feelings clearly and respectfully. Use “I” statements to express emotions without blaming others. For example, say “I feel frustrated when…” instead of “You never…”

Engage in regular physical exercise

Physical exercise is an excellent way to release tension and reduce stress. Whether running, yoga, or even a simple walk, physical activity helps channel anger energy positively.

Use humour to defuse situations

Humour can be an effective tool to defuse anger. Find the humorous side of frustrating situations and learn to laugh at yourself. Humour helps to put things into perspective and reduce tension.

Take a step back and think before reacting

When angry, it's easy to react impulsively. Take a few seconds to think before speaking or acting. Ask yourself if your reaction is proportionate to the situation and what the consequences of your actions might be.

Avoid stressors

Identify and minimize sources of stress in your life. If certain situations or people regularly provoke anger, try to avoid or manage them differently. Setting clear boundaries can also help reduce stress.

Learn to forgive and let go

Grudges and resentment fuel anger. Learn to forgive others and yourself for past mistakes. Letting go frees you from negativity and allows you to focus on the present.

Seek professional support if necessary

If managing anger is a constant challenge, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counsellor can provide strategies and additional support to better manage emotions.

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