Trying To Find A Smile

So when someone says "look on the bright side" or "find the positives and focus on them" what the heck am I supposed to find to focus on? I know my wife and kids love me. I know my dogs love me. I know I love my family and my dogs. I know I love my photography. None of that makes me smile when I am in that darkness.

Funny you said that i was awake at 6am feeling like that, its so weird, and i do agree dont matter how many times people say try and keep positive, funnily enough thats what I try and do, and sometimes on a very bad bad day nothing helps.

Dont matter if my friends are there for me or not or family, on a really dark day its dark and nothing helps, well other than listening to certain music full blast in my ears!

I have times when I stare at the ceiling wondering what I feel and trying to find something that makes me happy.  I worry and refuse to go out my front door. Even if that means starving and for over 27 years no support...

I am unemployed Veteran, no family or future as can't cope with noise nevermind a family. Plus another 27 years of trying to fit in with normal people and been punished for it, as we are not normal people. Yet we are judged by the very people we fought for. How do I cope with that? I mean no offence but to me most have an opinion with no experience. Woman or Man.. Just trying to keep real in a mad world no offence.. 
For me address these issues and no people like us ever again? Its only ever teamwork as on your side

Always willing to learn no offence..

I actually decided i dont like fiting in, so actually for me i dont even try, this has taken many many years to realise. My personality is i love volunteering to help others, so i focus in on that my depression sometimes effeects my ability to do that but often not.

I was always the friend people came to with their worrries or stuff and i would help fix it, but now adays i sometimes say no as i am not well enough or no because i am not the 'old ' hazel anymore.

I was never normal not because of mental health which is hugely shaping who i am now, but because i have a weird growing up background to must normal kids, aged well as old as could be trusted i had to help look after my sister, so i had no proper childhood i had adult responsibiilites aged 4. No i dont blame my parents or anyone for this, just saying i have always been different.

I have family and used to have alot of friends, but not many of those friends are standing by me now,  but its ok i just got to keep on going with life in the hope the next day will be better.

So yeah take one day at a time.

Take care from

Hazel

Got it sussed now Hazel, I now get paid to be kind to people and have no debt or kids, plus never have to work...;) Happy days for me

I used to suffer bad with other peoples thoughts, until now they pay me to be kind and the ones who called me well their whole family will be worked to the bone.

Still in same position just view it different now, hope your well sister and happy new haircut. :) 

Ah i wish i was happy i dont really think or believe i can be happy anymore, i can be ok thats it. Started a great day today, then i ended up in A and E with another seriously bad headache i rang 111 they said go A and E i did. So now more meds and still no real answers.

You look after youself your doing ok hun :) 

I feel you. I used to have depression for 2 years and I was struggling to find a single thing to be happy about. I never believed in online therapy, but I decided to give it a try. I contacted a therapist whos name was Nedev i believe, she was working on plusguidance.com.We had 4 sessions and she really did help me out a lot. 

If anyone suffers from depression Only, dam guys and girls change your ideas and goals in life and share them with people that have the same view family or not!