depression, anxiety and PTSD VS domestic abuse

If you want to chat just let me know.

Hi Knuckles. I'm sorry to hear of your domestic abuse. I have abused my ex partner on several occasions, something I'm not proud of in fact I'm disgusted at myself, after having been a victim of this too so I should know better. The thing that helped us was that instead of saying sorry and that I won't do it again and ending up in tearful hugs he  reported me to the police which brought it home to me that it's clearly unacceptable and downright nasty to do it to someone you supposedly love. I recently completed a year of BCT. I know a huge amount of my BPD is due to my childhood, neglect, abuse but also I realised that I didn't really love him as I didn't know how to. We have just split up after 8 years together. I very much doubt that either of us will have the guts to enter new relationships but at least we're free of the fear of hurting each other. (I should have stated earlier that he emotionally abused me our entire time together, hence my outbursts, violence was all I knew). Good luck and remember sometimes you have to think of yourself, maybe walking away could be the answer. 

Hi Jenny. Thank you for sharing your story. I do hope that you are now finding peace within yourself, along with realizing that you are not a bad person .

My now ex decided to send the person he was having an affair with vile emails supposedly off me. I was arrested, taken outside my home to an awaiting police van and processed in the custody suite.

I knew nothing about the emails and was shocked beyond belief at what was happening. I was in a daze. Thank God, I knew it was off him due to terminology plus it wasn't even my email address. I wasn't charged/cautioned and in fact whilst I was back in the cell waiting to be released , my ex turned up crying admitting it was him. No charges were brought against him and yet I had to endure the humiliation + embarrassment. I have never ever been in trouble with the police, I was the child who went red in class if someone even looked at me.

He only turned up due to her kicking him out and him knowing that the truth was about to be revealed. She wasn't even told it was him. 

Ironically, he blamed his now wife for insisting that I was arrested as she was "afraid in her own home." I have never even met her and have no wish to as they deserve each other. His marriage has been based on lies and deceit and no relationship can survive in those circumstances. The truth will come out.

I thought that it hadn't affected me but on relaying the incident 2 years later I broke down . I was diagnosed previous to that with anxiety depression thanks to him and all of his lies/deceit.

It has taken me a long time to get over that incident and the mental abuse he put me through. 

I wish you a life filled with love, laughter and happiness.

x

Hi jenny thankyou so much for your admission and comments and applaud you for standing up. You show exactly why D/V isnt a black and white situation. Whilst i cannot condone any violent actions i fully understand your reasons behind your outbursts, I would much rather be punched or hit than to go through the mental torture of psychological and emotional abuse. The scars from this dont heal and affect me everyday.

It was hard enough to admit i was a victim but to be left alone with no help is the hardest part, just because i am male.