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Coping with depression after the loss of a parent

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Magpies1

13/07/2020 at 20:50

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Magpies1

Last activity on 14/07/2024 at 17:36

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Wasn"t sure where to post this but just wanted to open up about something I'm experiencing.

Have been suffering with depression since my 20's (now 52). I had been living with my elderly parents for a while who both hd been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. With medication I have been able to outwardly look like I have been coping but not really dealing with pent up emotions. Due to my father's worsoning condition it was becoming apparent that he was becoming a danger to my mothers well being so to cut a long story short he has ended up in a care home. So over the past 2-3 years it's been me and various carers looking after mum. Things seemed ok before covid with my mum going to a day centre and although she was becoming more confused there and at home it was what it was. She was meeting people ,getting excercise etc. Then covid struck and the day centre was closed. I started working from home and was able to keep an eye on her, wash, dress and make her comfortable. She became more distressed at the end of june but I couldn't communicate with her to find out why but she kept saying she was worried, scared and help me. After a couple of days I called an ambulance and they were concerned with her heart. She had never smoked or was overweight. If anything she was underweight. They eventually found out that she had suffered a heart attack but there was no indication it was life threatening and many days they said she would be home one day or the next. Unfortunately she died on 1st July and I'm heartbroken. I wasnt able to visit her and I desperately thought her seeing a recognisable face would see her through. I've been having suicidal thoughts and even prepared everything to hang myself. The house is now empty of everything, love, meaning, companionship etc. I have always found it hard to open up about my feelings which has definitely contributed to my on and off depression and now I'm rock bottom I have no other choice. I'm not sure how posting this is supposed to help. I have her funeral on 17th july and the dark clouds are growing more and more and there seems no escape. Maybe I just want one person to say I'll be ok. Love Alan.

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Tigger.co.uk

18/08/2020 at 13:00

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Tigger.co.uk

Last activity on 20/11/2024 at 17:11

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I still get tearful ,i think a loss of any parent is hard when i had to go and identify my dad when he fell from his mental hospital window, i found that very hard but losing my mum to lung cancer was worse as she was my mum and my bestfriend i still to this day have tears ,especially if a song ,hymn ,favourite programme or a place it the remembering that she cant be here listening or watching thats when i cry but doing that picture and tapping does help now i try and focus on the good things in my life and not the past i know one day i will get to see her again, but i dont want to see her for a long time yet as i have to much going on now my health is not brilliant fighting breast cancer, and other life threatening illnesses to and my PTSD low moods depression and anxiety takes its toll on me i just hope this pandemic goes so our life can get better please take care stay safe and try not to get upset to much love and hugs your friend Tiger9

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Coping with depression after the loss of a parent https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/depression/living-with-depression/just-to-get-something-off-my-chest-3585 2020-08-18 13:00:46

sodowninsurrey

20/08/2020 at 12:17

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sodowninsurrey

Last activity on 27/10/2022 at 01:01

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@Magpies1 @Tigger.co.uk Both of those are great ideas! Grief can be so overwhelming. I still tear up too from memories of those long gone. I think it's a sign of our love for them. I just let it happen, talk a calming breath, acknowledge the feeling, and then continue on. It's definitely harder when it's about a parent since the bond is much stronger. Try to cherish the good memories and allow yourself to feel sad, but don't let it overwhelm you. xx

Coping with depression after the loss of a parent https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/depression/living-with-depression/just-to-get-something-off-my-chest-3585 2020-08-20 12:17:44

Magpies1

20/08/2020 at 15:02

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Magpies1

Last activity on 14/07/2024 at 17:36

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8 comments posted | 7 in the Depression Forum

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Thank you for the great advice. I dont like feeling sad so I seem to fight it and I bottle it up. I'm going to try to let myself feel sad and accept it. I'm sure that's why I have crippling anxiety and and other physical symptoms. Thanks again. Alan

Coping with depression after the loss of a parent https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/depression/living-with-depression/just-to-get-something-off-my-chest-3585 2020-08-20 15:02:59

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jenlei14

16/07/2019 at 12:02

I take each day as it comes, try to have a focus for that day. Today is pretty good, but it gives me a nudge every now and again. H

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mr chipps

Ambassador

23/08/2023 at 15:47

Lizzie when we loss loved ones some people are expecting to grieve in the same way with each bereavement, and are even more upset because they dont. this can be for many reasons, for example it could be the age of the loved one, how close you were to a certain person, how well they physically or emotionally knew a loved one. or lastly some of us may never have met a loved one for many reasons. or if physical events had taken place ,and a loved one could not be viewed by family and friends

this happened me was because, my son and i parted with bad blood between us, and when his baby daughter was born , and died age 50 minutes i was banned from attending her service or internment, her name was Rebecca Jade, but i called her Becky, and i bought her a small headstone and i go to her grave at least once a month with fresh flowers. i will always love my grandaughter, but possibly not as much as my Angel wife or son, who took his own life.?

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jenlei14

16/07/2019 at 12:02

I take each day as it comes, try to have a focus for that day. Today is pretty good, but it gives me a nudge every now and again. H

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mr chipps

Ambassador

23/08/2023 at 15:47

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