I keep having episodes of feeling extremely low and suicidal; it's pushing my boyfriend away

I'm going through the same thing at the moment, my partner doesn't know the full extent because he freaks out about it and blames himself which often makes my depression worse. I know I shouldn't keep him in the dark about it but iI feel so his own well being its best for now. I currently just release all my fears into my only friend so that my partner can have a break to recuperate. So maybe find a find who you can fall back on for a while to help your boyfriend. Hope I helped. 

Hey Guys,

I too went through a faze like you are both going through, it wasn't that I actually wanted to do anything, although had planned it to a T, I just couldn't see any way out, so I put safe guards in, to stop myself doing something permanent for what could be a temporary feeling. Finding someone who is going through it aided me, you keep fighting to keep them safe and vice versa, try and find the ebs and flows of your emotional ups and downs, you don't even have to journal it, just place an upward arrow when you are doing well nothing when you are normal and a downward arrow for feeling low, it helps to notice any pattern it then helps you to avoid triggers.

My husband has always been very supportive and  I often felt I asked to much of him, but if I hadn't and I had acted on my emotions he would have been devastated, here is the thing, if you ask for support they have a choice, and they are in the loop which is better for both of you, if you don't ask for help, it often makes it worse for both of you.

Forwarned is for armed and all that, If I was feeling really low, I didn't even have to talk to my husband, I would just say Hug, and that was enough, he would wrap his arms around me and hold me until it was ok to let me go.

Hope this helps, There can be light at the end of the tunnel,

Love Light and Peace x

Hi this is what i'm going through now feeling suicidal all the time i have to go through this on my own as none of my family support me i just think what is the point. I suffer with Emotionally Unstable Borderline personality disorder and Anxiety I find life so hard i struggle everyday with my thoughts but i try to keep myself busy with the therapy colouring books it helps me to take my mind of it...but i'm affaid there will be a point where one day my wish will come true.

I am feeling a lot more stable now (sorry about late reply been in hospital)