Depression

The biggest problem we ever had with medication was with Zoloft (Sertraline).  It caused my husband to hallucinate.  Two days into it, I woke up in the early hours to my husband with his hands around my throat ranting about giving alcohol to children.  To cut a long story very short, he was seeing a ‘big business’ conspiracy type of thing, where this man was giving children alcohol so they got hooked.  Then they would buy it for the rest of their lives and keep the firm in business.  OK, farfetched, but then when are hallucinations ever logical!

I managed to get out of bed and the bedroom into the kitchen to collect myself.  I ventured back and found my husband searching in the wardrobe for ‘the man’, but fortunately he recognized me as me now, so I got him into a chair with a cup of tea. 

I rang Lincs Line, a 24 hour helpline here.  I use the term helpline loosely however.  All the girl on the other end would say was, ‘if you feel threatened, get out of the house and ring the police’, she just kept repeating that to the point where I wondered if they had employed a parrot, or perhaps this was an answering machine?  I couldn’t seem to make her understand that I was wanting help for my husband.

These days I would have rung an ambulance, but this was early in our marriage and I was still at the point where ambulances were for heart attacks, strokes, accidents and so on.  I hadn’t realized at that point that this was just as much as an emergency!

By now, the ‘man’ had been replaced by my husband seeing lions, tigers, flying fish and insects crawling over him.  In a lucid moment, I got him in the car and to A&E.  This being the early hours of the morning on a Friday, there was quite a wait to see a doctor.  By the time he arrived, my husband was coming through it a bit.  ‘Do you see anything now?’ the doctor asked, ‘No’ said my husband, ‘Just that lion sitting in the corner’.

We were back to the specialist as soon as we could get an appointment and he was put on Duloxitine (Cymbalta) and has been on that ever since at 120mg a day, quite a heavy dose, but at least it seems to agree with him.

This whole episode is something we laugh about now some years later, but it was anything but funny at the time!!!!

Hi @Suncatcher2015  , That must have been very frightening . I had a bad reaction to Sertraline and also Duloxetine , both those made me very sick . I never had more than the first capsule of Duloxetine which made me feel green . The 50mg Sertraline tablet I took a quater of made me sweat all over my body and I felt so sick ... They are probably the worst reactions I have had to any tablets . I hope your husband is stable now and you don't have to endure any nasty episodes like that ever again .

Daren :-)

Thanks Daren, he is in a good patch at the moment, so we make the most of each day! :)  I am just having issues with physical health - you never know, one of these days we might just both hit a good patch at the same time! :)

One thing I have noticed, when my health takes a downturn and he has to look after me, he is often better in himself.  It is as if having this responsibility gives him a focus.  Normally I am the care giver, administering the meds, getting us to appointments, making sure he eats, goes to bed, gets up again and so on but when he has to look after me, he is more able to do these things too. 

Just an observation, but an interesting one.

Suncatcher2015

Hi @Suncatcher2015  , That is a very profound observation . I would say this almost certainly proves that with the right therapy your husband could retain that same focus to aid his stability during any other times . I am not confident your husband is on the correct medication . A mood stabiliser would be far more appropriate or maybe in conjunction with an antidepressant . You really need to discuss this with his Psychiatrist . What you have explained to me clearly indicates that things are not working . A friend of mine had these dark depressive episodes and was a different person after they changed his medication . He now takes Abilify (Aripiprazole) this is an antipsychotic , but also used for major depression , maybe this would help your husband . I would also recommend some kind of therapy to keep him focused , one to one psychotherapy could help . Best wishes to you and you are welcome  :-) 

Daren :-)

Hi Darren

Unfortunately under our health authority, such things are almost an impossibility!  One to one psychotherapy is almost unheard of, and we don't even see a psychiatrist any more.  We have what is called Community Mental Health Services, staffed by mental health nurses.  They see my husband about every six months, unless we hit a suicidal phase, which thank God, we haven't done for two years.  Then we have to attend A&E, get referred to the Crisis Team, who in turn refer us to the Intensive Community Therapy Team, which is a different set of Mental Health Nurses who see you more regularly, say once a month.  They may ask for a psychiatrist to see you or they may not.  We only have one purpose built acute unit in the town for short term acute care and no long term facility at all.  Apparently our health authority did not consider Mental Health a budgeting priority.  Sorry, I am in danger of getting my soap box out here!

Having a step-son with Schizoaffective Disorder, Anxiety and Chronic Paranoia plus Alcoholism (years of self-medicating before diagnosis) and a husband with Depression, Anxiety and Borderline Personality Disorder, I have had many a battle with the local services in order to obtain care for both of them over time. 

My step-son has been in hospital now for nearly ten years apart from two short discharge periods, both of which ended in tears and sheer frustration.  The last time he was in hospital miles away in Blackburn and eventually discharged on a community treatment order with four requirements on it.  The idea was if he broke any of these, he would be readmitted.  He actually broke all four and the psychiatrist locally would not readmit him.  We had a real battle to get him back into hospital, as much for his own safety as for the treatment on offer.

I just give daily thanks to whatever greater force may be at work, if indeed there is one, that my husband is having a good patch at the moment.  We are at 5 months and counting, so wearing the 'happy face' at the moment.

Suncatcher2015

Hi @Suncatcher2015  , I am really sorry that the services are so dreadful in your area . I am down in the south near Southend . You do amazingly well to cope with all you have to contend with . I am so sorry there is not a lot of advice I can give , as you are doing all there is to possibly be done . I am an Atheist , I have never believed in God . If there were then I am sure these dreadful things would not happen . I believe in something but I am not sure what it is while I am still here . I  have many worries myself , but what ever happens , happens . I have had a blood test today to test for pancreatic cancer . It was not a standard blood test so I had to find out what it was for , so I am ashamed to say , I googled it . Now I just have to wait for the results . I am waiting to have a capsule camera type Endoscopy to try to find out why I keep being sick and why my pancreas is failing . I do not worry for me , I worry for my daughters and the rest of my family . But I can cope at the moment , I am working when I can and keeping my mind occupied . My sincere best wishes to you .

Daren x

Hi @xDarenx

You must, like me, wonder 'what next?'.  Don't blame you a bit for Googling  - I am a dedicated Googler too.  I cope by knowing the facts.  I need detail, I need to know and understand.  Never mind that it might not happen, might not come to that, I want to be fully informed just in case.  That is just me, my way of dealing with anything, find the facts!

My husband had an upper endoscopy last week, but is was the sort where a camera goes down the throat.  A capsule sounds much better, how does that work exactly?

Do you ever wonder why some people seem to sail through life without any problems, why they never seem to be ill or have any disasters, then others are a walking wreck and a black spot disaster area? 

My friend has a saying - 'we are never given more than we can cope with', I want to know just who decides that - I need a serious word!

Keep the faith - I hope you receive good news on the tests.

Suncatcher2015

@Suncatcher2015  , Don't worry , An Atheist angel is watching over me hahaha ... I will be fine ... I am far too positive to have anything really bad happen to me . Yes some people do sail through life without any problems , but then you do not really know if they have it hard in other ways ( ie. relationships or financial worries ) ... what does not kill us makes us stronger :-)

Daren x

I like the idea of an Atheist Angel

@suncatcher I do belive there are things we are not ment to know until after our death .... I only believe in evidence and tangible things ..... I would believe in the wildest things , if there is evidence to support it's existence . I am a very rational thinker with a scientific mind . I realize that religion gives some people comfort , but for me , given all the harm religion does all over the world , that comfort comes at too higher price . More people are killed over religion than have ever been killed by cancer , yet we search for a cure for cancer ... It is quite insane