Are you satisfied with your health provider?

i have a good go, who listens to what I have to say,then we discuss what is the best way forward for me. I see him every 4_weeks we will talk how I have been and then if needs be we will tweak the medication . At the moment we are trying a non invasive approach which seems to be workinf

@rodgerrn It's great to hear that you're confident and happy with your provider!

What do other member feel?

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Hi guys I had a dr for 17 years who I liked and although she was lovely and I could talk to her about anything. She never quite got to the right diagnosis or the root cause of so many of my issues. Although she was a lovely lovely dr. However in 2015/16 I had a consultant psychiatrist who was amazing. She would be like a dog with a bone if she thought something I was worrying about was getting in the way of my insight and self awareness and she would talk to me in such a way that she never told Me this is why. I came to that realisation by myself with her incredible way of discussing my issues I miss that dr. I think a good dr also needs a good team behind them.

Ok firstly, I have mixed view of the medical providers that I have seen, firstly my GP, there have been good, and bad, one GP in the practice, seemed to be listening, and be helpful with trying medications, and sending letters to my psychiatrist as and when needed, but then during a period I was struggling, he betrayed my confidence, when he made reference in my medical notes, that he felt my use of Diazepam would become problematic, however this was not the case, and did not happen, I only used them when I really needed them, and against all odds, based on his thoughts, I managed to stop using them, along with stopping all other street drugs, and alcohol, with everybody including him, appearing to throw my hard efforts, back in my face, the other GP in the practice, is obnoxious at best, and insulting and down right rude, and degrading at worst, making statements like "I don't have any magic fairy dust to sprinkle over you, or a magic wand" I was unimpressed to say the least, but GP pickings in my area are slim pickings, so I tolerate them if I really have to. I haven't seen a GP in about 2 years now, I avoid them at all costs, I wait until I go on holiday to Thailand to see a doctor, as doctors there, are respectful, very thorough, and very helpful, I've never had a bad experience with a doctor whilst on holiday in Thailand 😊

Now the local Mental Health Team, where do I start? I was first introduced to the local mental health team when I overdosed on my antidepressants, whilst in school as an 11 year old school child, yes I was on antidepressants at 11, probably hard to believe, but they did this as there was no other help they could offer me, I was placed on a waiting list to see the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Team, what a joke, it took 5 and a half years for me to finally get an appointment, in the mean time I overdosed on my antidepressants prescribed by my GP at the time (not the same GP as I have now), as I was so distraught about both my home life, my sexual abuse during my childhood, and the constant relentless bullying in school that I had to endure every day, day in, day out, including taunting by boys 5 years older than me, pulling out their man hood and waving it in my face, I just wanted out, and didn't care how, and all the antidepressants (citalopram) did, was made me feel worse, so I thought maybe if I take the whole box, I might die, and not have to endure the torment and torture any longer.

I was taken by the school nurse to see my GP, who said that it's not life threatening, but he'd like to know why, when I explained why I'd done what I'd done, he insisted they send me to hospital for my mental health to be assessed, so I went, at the hospital I met a very nice and helpful and understanding Psychiatrist, her name was Doctor Bala, however her hands were tied, as she could not try me on any other antidepressant as I was under 18, even if she felt something else would help, so all she did despite my protests against the idea, was increased the citalopram, from here on in, things went from bad to worse.

The medication made me feel suicidal, and invincible all at the same time, I genuinely thought I could fly, I jumped from a river bridge, and was sectioned for the very first time at 11, the hospital psych team were very helpful, and agreed I could stop the medication, and try to manage with nothing, and wait for counselling with the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Team, I was released the following morning.

When I was due to go back to school, the thought of going back, gave me such anxiety, and made me so depressed, I decided not to go, instead I took up drinking and smoking weed, at a local drug dealers house, in a bid to escape life, I already smoked cigarettes from age 7, but I won't go into that, it's irrelevant.

Nobody noticed my school absence, as every few days I'd go into school, I'd smoke weed before the school bus, and carry cider in my school bag, that I drunk at lunch time, within 3 months I'd progressed from weed, to speed, and from speed to heroin, and lighter fuel or petrol sniffing, so when I passed out outside the door of my doctors surgery, after binge drinking, and sniffing petrol until I was losing consciousness, my doctor and my uncles ex wife found me slumped outside the door, I didn't even make it inside the door, I'd tried to drag myself on my hands dragging my limp legs behind me to the surgery when I started feeling unwell, but didn't make it inside, had they not have found me, I would have died, my mum got a call at work to let her know, she was beside herself with worry, I was taken to hospital, given oxygen and a drip, woke up there, wondering what I was doing there, to my dad screaming and shouting at me, just what I didn't need, then to add on even more punishment, to try to shame me into stopping, he took me to sleep at my grandmother's house, who I didn't get along with, because of her old fashioned strict ways, who also screamed and shouted at me, at this point, I just wanted to die, but it was too dark out for me to leave and hitch a ride with anyone, or see to go somewhere secluded to kill myself, the only thoughts going through my head, in the morning I woke at 5:45am, I quietly sneaked out and left, I headed to the local park that had a canal attached, with the thought of jumping in and drowning myself, but there was a guy in a high vi's yellow jacket peering into the canal then looking back at me in horror, as they'd just found a body in the canal, the guy was a cop, he questioned what I was doing there, I could hardly lie at this point, but seeing how upset I was rather than take me back, or to hospital, or the station, he took me the 30 mile trip hope, what a nice cop, when I arrived home, to my mum's amazement with a cop, she was terrified that I'd done something wrong, or that something had happened to my dad, but when she found out the truth about why the cop had taken me home, she phoned my dad at my grandmother's house and went mad, about how he'd managed to let me sneak out the house alone in the dark, before it had gotten light, and that I could have been killed, at this point, it put such a strain on their relationship, that they nearly split up, my dad spent an entire week staying at my grandmother's house.

The next day nothing more was said, they just acted as if nothing had happened, so I thought if their not gonna help me, I'll go by myself to see my GP, and that was the best thing I ever did, I explained my problem and I was referred to the local drug and alcohol team, in return for trying the antidepressants one more time, but again they made me feel worse, so I had to come off them, I couldn't get any support from the drug and alcohol team as they didn't have a young person's service, and they couldn't legally have me in the building with adults who were using drugs, despite my problems being no lesser than any adult.

I went back to my GP a few days later and explained what had happened, and he was furious, at how the system was failing me, so from this point he began trying to counsel and talk to me himself, despite not being qualified, and insisted I came back every week, he was really easy to talk to, highly educated, and non judgemental and most importantly compassionate, he was a dad himself with grown up children, so really wanted to help me, and tried to comfort me, but I was just to scared to open up fully, then he left the practice and my only support was gone, I was 13 by then.

I went back to drinking and the drugs, to escape but this time I was far more careful and secretive, by 14 I took too much speed and was paranoid, at a friend's house who was a guy in his 30's that I'd met, from hanging round outside in all weather, near the drug and alcohol project, in hope they would set up a young person's service, he took me under his wing, and rather I was safer at his house, than walking the streets, doing drugs alone, my parents didn't approve of the friendship, but there was nothing they could do, as local police were not interested, as I'd made it clear I wasn't missing, my friend taught me some safer methods of doing the drugs I was doing, rather than the methods I was using, I say safer, as no method is actually safe.

Within a year I jumped from the river bridge again, and was sectioned for 4 days, at this point the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Team still could not offer me an appointment, as they still had no availability to fit me in, and when I disclosed that the drug and alcohol team wouldn't see me until I turned 16, they contacted them and demanded they see me, finally progress, however I only had fixed appointments and couldn't attend the drop-in service with everybody else, I felt left out with nowhere to go, still hanging around outside in the rain, for almost the next 2 years, it was actually about 4 months before I turned 16 my counsellor at the time also manager of the project, finally ignored the rules and invited me in to join in the drop-in with all the adults, he could have lost his job for doing so, if my parents had have complained, but that was the best thing that ever happened to me, he then invited my dad to attend the following week, so he could see how happy, and safe I was there, even amongst all the adults, this was the biggest breakthrough I'd had with my issues, that I finally had people I could talk to, relate to, and feel comfortable and wanted around, being there helped me 😊 I spent a year with them slowly reducing my drinking, and use of speed, and solvents, only leaving heroin as a final stumbling block.

Finally things came to a head at home, when I left school tried college, and then dropped out of college, I was thrown out by my parents, and moved into the bedsit my friend in his 30's had been living in, and moved out to a larger flat, he left a sofa behind for me, knowing I was moving into the bedsit, finally having freedom and turning 17 I decided things weren't working with the drug and alcohol project, so I needed a more yound person centered service, so I made contact with the service in the next county, where my parents still live, to ask for their help and support, within 6 months of starting my counselling with them, I had my first clean test, I still remember my excitement at the prospect of no longer having to rely on heroin, however I had worked my way back down onto speed and weed, but did not see this as an issue.

At 16 just before my parents threw me out, I saw the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Team, what a useless waste of space they only wanted me to have sessions with all my family there, and they didn't want to be involved in my sessions, so after 1 session they signed me off.

When I went to my doctor he switched me to the adult mental health service, because I was 16, but when I turned up they said I could not access their service until I was 18, even though by this time, I'd turned 17 and was living on my own, in my bedsit, I was still classed in their eyes as a minor, but I was also now too old for the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Team, as they only accepted up to 16's, go figure, useless yet again, so I was slipping through a gap in the net 😞

So despite my drug and alcohol issues being addressed, my mental health issues were not being addressed, so after years of fighting for support I gave in, being clean and sober at least, after working hard to get off the drugs, and a stint in a residential RE-hab at just 18, I moved back in with my parents, mended our relationship, and within a year, I'd met a guy, the next 5 years went by in a blur, he changed my GP, I got better suiting medication, but was still quite volatile, a self harmer, and drinking regularly, he referred me to the local mental health team, finally after 2 years I saw the psych explained some of my issues and fears and was told go to the gym, as if that was a magic cure, I remember feeling deflated, it affected my relationship with my partner, and I left him, moved back in with my parents, and argued so much with them that I registered as homeless, with the local authority, and housing associations, and received my keys to my current flat on my 21st birthday.

I was drinking for the next 3 blurry years, until I got in another relationship, once again with a much older man, I was 24, he was 52, and one day when his counsellor came out to see him, she spotted me, and thought I needed help, confused why I'd want to be in a relationship with a 52 year old alcoholic, simple it's the only thing I knew, and felt comfortable around, and I hated the childishness of younger guys, so she left me a card with an appointment to go and see her, she unbeknown to me was with the drug and alcohol project that helped me kick my heroin addiction, so I was referred to the clinic to see Huw a counsellor who's name I was very familiar with, I remembered him from back then, he was the other counsellor there at the time, when I was seeing a guy named Leighton as my counsellor, Huw remembered me too and still had the old case file which he had just re-opened and updated, he actually considered himself my counsellor back when Leighton was my counsellor, because they worked together as a team.

Huw is the best thing that ever happened to me, if you count from 17 to now, I'm 32 in less than 2 days, so he's basically been my counsellor for 15 years, he just picked up where we'd previously left off, with a 7 year gap, so really he's been my counsellor for a total of 9 years, when I started to learn to trust him, and opened up (age 28), he realised my mental health preceeded my drug and alcohol issues but that the Mental health team were refusing to help me, so he set out to help me to get them to listen, giving me advice, but in the end, he called in the help of the dual diagnosis teams, AMHP (Approved Mental Health Professional) like a CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) only an AMHP has power to section you if necessary, to assess me, to see if he agreed with the thought that I have ADHD upon assessment, he agreed, as did my GP who had already written to my Psychiatrist, who didn't seem to be listening to me, so they tried to get me to see the Psychiatrist from the dual diagnosis team but she refused, because her caseload was full, so the AMHP advised Huw take me to my Psychiatrist who had changed from the original psych I had, was better mannered but still not listening to me, but as soon as Huw was with me and explained what the AMHP had said and gave him a letter from him, and told him that if he checks my notes, he'll also see a letter from my GP saying the same, that has previously been ignored, he asked me a bundle of questions and agreed the diagnosis then and there in front of Huw, finally a good Psychiatrist, who helped but only with prompting from other services, so although over all Mental Health Services have been mediocre at best, they did finally come through for me, since being medicated since just before my 29th birthday, I've gradually got much better and I'm both clean, sober, and mentally stable, and have just had my last counselling session yesterday with Huw, my case file with him is now closed, despite the fact I'm meant to see the psych every 6 months I'm lucky if I see them once every 12 to 18 months, so their service availability is still terrible.

I think this should give a very comprehensive view of my local Mental Health Service 😊

Gelligron CMHT Pontardawe, Swansea, South Wales. 

@StumpyDavies wow Gelligron, I just read your whole post and it really touched me. I am so glad that you're feeling better and that this story has a happy ending. I hope your health continues to improve and you lead a very happy life. 

Do you ever get tempted to go back on the drugs? Do you struggle to tell new partners about this past? 

Thanks for telling and sharing xxx

when i was in hospital after my breakdown, i meet a therapist that was like an angel from above , she took me off the ward for a brew after a few wks i started to open up, no i started to feel i could trust her,before my breakdown i never even thought about trust, i had a good life i had things i went places i had money ,i was normal then when it all went my life changed , i drank and i drank and i drank to forget every little detail off my former life. I woke in a mental hospital detoxed and surrounded by all these different people and i sat and watched everything everybody .then trust truth entered my life .And as i said above this therapist walked into my life and over the months she helped put my life back together , fragile but the starter blocks , and after 8 months in hospital i got a place in a sheltered housing project i had my so called CPN, my so called CASE WORKER , my so called HEAD SHRINK, and my THERAPIST . I was informed i had serve clinical depression , ptsd,bpd,and d.i.d, ... Then while i was starting to trust them around me she left she just vanished no call no text no letter just gone . No one would tell me why where she was, i knew they were lying so i no longer trusted or wanted to be around these people so i went back in my shell , and 1 by 1 i got rid of them, they were no good to me... And after 4 cpn 3 therapist and countless doctors , im right where i started, i trust no one, i self harm i drink i take so much medication, i refuse to go to my local MHT, i refuse to see my doctor, and my latest therapist moved 8 miles away so iv not spoke to her in a yr.. I BELIEVE THAT IT IS SO VERY EASY TO SAY YOU SUFFER FROM A,C,B,D, THE HARD THING IS FINDING  THAT PERSON THAT THING THAT WILL HELP YOU FIGHT A,B,C,D

@JosephineO @icecream @Pleasance @StumpyDavies @rodgerrn I had very bad experiences initially with my mental health care providers. I felt like none of them could help me.

It didn't help that sometimes she would be late or have oerbooked my appointment. She would talk more about her own life than mine. 

I am very lucky that I have a good GP but the problem is I am lucky if I get to see him there are 12 doctors in my practice and sometimes I have to wait 3 before I can see my appointed GP otherwise I have to go through all my medical history again which makes things worse. Then I go and see "specialists" that do little more than say "you are very brave keep taking the tablets etc". The last person that I saw was "in Training" and actually made me worse than I was before. In short if you are "coping" and taking your medication don't bother you have to actually harm yourself or others in order to get the help yo need.

hi laceytree , thats the whole problem with any illness or disease if them that r meant to help r not up to the job or carnt b bothered ,, whats the point on telling people its good to talk  dont keep it bottled up  etc etc ..

@JosephineO My doctor merely said 'what do you want me to do?' and gave me the Time to Talk leaflet. I used this before to no avail. Today the black dog is so heavy I didnt go out to meet friends as promised.